Birthday Countdown

It can hard being here alone in the city. I'm unfortunately family-less here in LA. I was abandoned about 15 years ago by those near and dear to me...

Okay, I may be exaggerating a bit. The truth is when they decided to move out of state...I decided to stay. I chose to go semi homeless before I would move out of the city I loved.  It took me a few years but I was eventually able to pull it together and make it out here on my own.

I miss them often. Holidays are lonely without them. Breakups are harder without their love and support. Sure I have my friends and I love them all, but sometimes I want to be able to pop over to my moms house and have her make me some food, you know?  Or cruise to the mall with my cousin. Go hang out with my Sister and her kids.

I'm extra emo tonight. Tomorrows my birthday. Yet another special event without the fam bam. Birthdays are a big deal in my family. Celebrations can last days. I think my mom has finally managed to stretch her special day out to a full month.

I get a midnight phone call from them every year. My family loves any excuse to party. So much so that they celebrate my birthday even when I'm not there. I'm expecting a drunken midnight call from them any minute now. I look forward to it every year.

This is only the second time in my life since I was 16 years old that I've been single on my birthday. The first time was a few months after I left my husband. It was the year I turned the big three-oh.  I decided to take a vacation with my cousin to Hawaii. I had the time of my life! It was so liberating. We spent 7 amazing days there. We tanned and ate then tanned some more. It had felt so good not to belong to anyone. I was free and could just be me...

Not sure how I feel about it this year. The first time around I was on vacation. But now? I'm here. Alone. I've been so insanely busy at work I've barely had enough time to make a few phone calls to remind people about my special day, let alone plan something.

There's another difference between family and friends. With family, you don't have to remind them. They know. They drag you out. They plan. They get drunk in your honor.

Not that I'm one to talk. I'm terrible at remembering birthdays. I barely learned the day my fathers birth a few years ago. I have a system. My sister calls me to remind me about my moms birthday. My mom calls me to remind me about my dads. My aunt calls me to remind me about my NaNa's and everyone else I'm usually able to stumble on somehow or the other.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do tomorrow. I'm broke as a joke and I'm going to have a painfully long day at work. Part of me just wants to skip it. I have a GNO planned on Saturday anyways. I need new characters so I plan on making it a working lunch.

Pop a Squat called me earlier to tell me she got a sitter until 10:30pm for tomorrow. Plenty of time to raise a ruckus. Henny dropped me a line as well. She's down for some early pre midnight madness.

Maybe I'll play it easy tomorrow and just spend some time with those who call. Without a reminder note from me. Just hang with my true LA Fam Bam.

7 minutes till midnight. Happy early birthday to me.

WCC