So I got into a bar fight last night. Thats right, you heard me. I'm officially 33 years old and brawling like a common hoodlum. And to think my day had started off so nice.
I had a great birthday night. Went out with my friends, smooched a Beetle, came home and blogged for a bit. The next morning Pop a Squat called me to take me out to a birthday lunch.
"Where do you want to go?," she asks me.
"Hermosa Beach, where else?" I replied.
Its a gorgeous day in Southern California. The sun is out with a light breeze. I roll down to Hermosa and meet Pop a Sqaut at Hennesseys Tavern right on the beach. We are having a good time,drinking our Vanilla vodka Lemonade mixers, shooten the shit about my blog. Pop a Squat is my number one fan. We were talking WCC fan club when I get another text from Huge Asshole. The guy still hasn't given up from last night.
"ha ha you butthole. Teasy my kneesy. Yes it was an accident?' he texts.
Um, since I haven't responded to your stalker ass since yesterday I think its safe to say it was an accident dumbass. He texts again, "Can you just answer me straight please?"
God fine fine fine!
"Sorry. I called on accident last night. My phone has been on the frits."
There. I responded. Leave me alone now asshole...but its never that simple is it?
"Ok no worries. Sorry for bugging you it was just nice hearing something from you even though I was sure it was an accident. Take Care."
Do you see what he is doing here? First he's trying to be cutesy with the Teasy kneesy comment. Your not cute dude. Then he had to throw in how it was nice hearing from me...which I'm sure he's hoping would soften my heart enough to finally respond to him. Little does he know he turned me into a heartless bitch and I just don't give a shit.
I give no response so the inevitable follow up texts arrives. This one pissed me off. "How bout some belated bday lovin? Can't help but miss that, one thing we never got wrong."
Motherfucker. Now I'm upset. What world is this guy living in? The last conversation we had was a knock down drag out fight...
Long story short, we broke up months ago, but still were seeing each other for a while. Lines like these would have worked in the past because the boy was right. The sex was beyond amazing. We pushed each other to our limits. There are dozens of photos and Dear Lord Help Me, plenty of video of our escapades. We used to go for hours. I think our record was 5 times in a 6 hour time span? With no more then maybe a 20 minute break... Furniture has been broken, walls have been damaged. There were outfits...lots and lots of outfits. Hell yeah I know he misses that. And I probably would have continued it during our "breakup". Until he decided to tell me, after I slept with him on one occasion, that he was dating someone else.
I was furious. Dude, go ahead. Date someone else. But have the courtesy to tell me about it. He tried to say it wasn't necessary because we were broken up. He wasn't obligated to share.
Are you fucking kidding me? He knows that I would never touch him if I knew he was dating another broad. He tried to equate it to a time I had a boyfriend and had continued seeing him on the side.
"The difference is, I told you." I had said to him. "you had a choice."
The fight escalated and to this day I am still raw with the last words he said to me,
"You are a fragile excuse for a women."
Ouch. So not fucking true. But still. Ouch. Its not about there being any truth behind it, its more about the fact that he said it to me. On purpose. To hurt me. That's the day I officially cut him out of my life. I told him to leave me alone, forever.
Well forever isn't what it used to be.
I respond to his text,"Wow, your un fucking believable. Go use someone else. I don't want to know you let alone touch you. Stop texting. I don't need to be hurt or insulted by you anymore."
Pop a Squat gives her nod of approval. He responds within seconds, "Yeah you're right, guess that was pretty low. My apologies."
Sigh, he is so young and stupid. Honestly he isn't a bad guy. He's just an insecure idiot. One that I don't want to know. I'm satisfied with his response and I let it go. I made him feel like a dirty jerk, and I'm happy. I know he has been dying to talk to me, and he is kicking himself for ruining his chances to know me again.
Good. I hope he suffers.
I return to my lunch, when bachelor number 2 texts me. And you'll never believe who it is. The Creeper.
That's right Fans, the final chapter has been reopened and The Creeper is back.
Creeper. "Happy birthday. :)"
I'm elated. He has left me an opening. I decide to test how far I can push it.
Me, " No smiley faces after meanness. those are the rules."
Creeper, " I wasn't being mean. I was being honest. I hope you are having an awesome bday"
The change of heart is random to say the least. I'm happy that I didn't send him a kiss off message with the WCC stamp of approval. I should have known this guy would roll back around. They always do.
Me, " You were being over sensitive. Which is surprising. All your convos with me have to do with fooling around. That's ok generally speaking, but your not the only one who had issues with the way things went. I found u interesting. Too bad u were only interested in one thing."
At this point Pop a Squat is practically bouncing with excitement. She is enjoying watching the story unfold right in front of her instead of having to wait for my blog.
Creeper, "stop texting me then creeper"
Here we go again. Is he being sarcastic or oversensitive? I decide to respond somewhere in the middle,
"lol.god ur a nut. Kk."
Creeper, "yeah I really loved jerking myself off after I made you cum...That's something that I definitely look for. I don't even want to hook up with anyone. I just want to find someone awesome. Sorry we were attracted to each other and that's what happened"
Funny. Creeper thinks I'm attracted to him.
"I don't have regrets in life..."(he continues)" And I don't like to group people or put people in boxes so even for a second try to say like I know what you're all about like you do...It's ignorant...And unfortunately you'll make me enforce my own stereo type anyway...Telling me all I want to do is hook up. It's hilarious that you think I'm a nut. You've outcrazied me by a longshot and if you don't know that by now you're mildly delusional."
Well I can't argue with the last part. Man oh man, Creeper was going off. He is such a freaking girl.
I debate what to do next. This guy is Mr. Sensitive relationship guy. I'm at a crossroads. I can choose to blow him off, or get him back. The 'daytime' me wants to leave the guy alone. I feel bad. I know I'll hurt him if I continue to drag this out. Then there is West Coast Carrie. She wants to engage. She wants to come up with some shit because the man is ripe for the pickins...One line from me and I know I can bring him back to my side.
I throw the decision to Pop a squat.
"What should I do? I'm torn dude. Between who I am and the writer in me. Me or WCC?" I ask her.
She takes a moment then begins to laugh, "look, I have to be honest. I really don't care that much about you anymore. I love Carrie. Get the Creeper back!"
Psycho fan. But she's right. I really should give the readers what they want. I take a moment to gather my thoughts then shoot this out to him, "I joke and am sarcastic. I was just being honest too. That's the impression I got. You and I have communication issues man. I assumed, and so did you and we didn't get the chance to be proven wrong. Alright. This is pointless. Looks like its too late for starting over."
I swear this feels like we are in a freaking relationship. Too funny. This is fun. I'm going to hell.
Creeper, "I say make out party is in order. No biting though!!'
She shoots, she scores!!
Me, "lol...isn't that where the miscommunication started?"
Then the Creeper got real. Did I mention that he's a girl?
"You want honesty here it goes. I have a date tonight with a very pretty girl (she's brown too) and for realz I only took the date because she kinda reminded me of you...And you're still in my phone as "the brown girl" and I really don't want a second soooo"
Now I'm feeling like an asshole. I don't want a boyfriend. I don't want the pressure of telling this guy to blow off his date for me. I don't want to mess up this guys chance to have a relationship with a girl who might actually be into him. I look up at Pop a Squat to ask her what she thinks I should do. But one look at the happy little giddy grin on her face and I know the answer. Screw it. It's too late to stop this train now...
Me, "Ok. Well here's me being honest. I'd like to get to know you better..besides texting and drunken hook ups..I don't want you to have to call off your date when u and i are still getting to know each other. I would love to hang tonight for my bday but..ugh. bad timing."
There. Its done. I left it in his hands. Ok thats bullshit. I know this little message will do the trick. I'm a writer. I know what will motivate people.
Creeper, "We should soberly hook up then. So you don't have excuses. Or just hang out and get high and cuddle."
Oh god. The man wants to cuddle.
Me, "Lol. Maybe we can throw in some talking too...just tell me when."
Damn I'm good at this sensitive shit.
"6:30ish hit it and quit it?" he texts.
And he wonders why I call him Creeper?
So back to Creeperland I go. Damn you reader...
I arrived at his apartment at around 7pm. Creeper comes walking up in cut off sweats capri style and a tshirt. Guess I wasn't worth getting dolled up for. I'm already over this.
He gives me a hug and leads the way back to the garage. The scene is completely different then the first time I had visited here. Same room, except its now spotlessly clean. I guess he dolled something up. Music is playing from his labtop and I swear I smell something scented in the room.
Its nice to see him sober. I could still see those wheels turning, except this time minus the squeeking.
We sit and chit chatted for a bit. He had told me that he had an audition earlier that day so I asked him how it went.
"Well, I walked in, read the script and walked back out," he tells me.
"Really? Why? Bad script?," I ask.
"It wasn't that, I just can't figure out why my agent sent me out on it. I mean, its for this commercial where I would have to be walking around in my underwear the whole time."
Lmao!! How amazing would it be for me to be able to point out to my friends The Creeper in his tighty whiteys on TV? Damn he should have auditioned.
This is actually kind of nice. We are talking, he is sober (you know, besides the 3 bong hits he took when I walked in) and coherent. Maybe I can do this? Maybe there is something redeemable about this guy?
"I feel like there is a barrier between us right now.."he tells me.
"Barrier? Why? You afraid to touch me now?," I ask him laughing.
He looks at me intently and says, "Your right. We are starting over. Now let me think first. How did I break though the first time? Oh thats right, I just jumped in."
The Creeper grabs me and pulls me towards him on the bed. I'm more then a little hesitant. I'm not sure if its going to be as weird as it was the first time.
It is.
He wraps me in his arms and starts to press his face into my neck again. His breathing is instantly heavy.
"Are you sniffing me?" I ask him.
"No. Just breathing," he replies from the inside of my neck.
Well thats some pretty loud breathing buddy.
He moves in to kiss me. Not as bad as the first time. He still has this weird thing about my upper lip but I don't feel like we are fighting to claim ownership of it like before. Then he tries to grab for no mans land. I move his hand away.
"Really? Why?" he asks me.
"I just don't want to", I tell him. And I mean it. He is touching me, and kissing me but I'm just not feeling it. The first time around I think I was so busy tripping out on his strangeness that I didn't really pay attention to what I was feeling. I was to interested in seeing what the weirdo would do next. Well this time around I already know what the weirdo wants to do, and I'm not feeling it.
I'm not attracted to this guy. He is good looking and witty and so not my type. No chemistry. No butterflies. No mystery or interest for me. It happened. I'm done with the Creeper. Time to clock the fuck out.
"Well thats stupid. Why wouldn't you want to let me make you feel good? On your birthday?"he says trying to convince me to let him defile me.
"I just don't. I want to just hang with you. Watch your wheels turn."I tell him.
"See. Your going backwards. Why pretend like we haven't already done this before? I mean I don't want to sit here and just makeout. I don't want to be teased. I'd rather do nothing then."
"Ok" I reply.
He grabs the pillow and places it over his face. I wonder if I can walk out the door without him noticing?
Aw, forget it. I'm curious what Creeper will do if he can't touch me. I'll stay a bit longer. See what happens.
He pulls the pillow from his face and says excitedly, "wanna see me do a head stand?"
I totally made the right choice to stay.
"sure do." I reply.
Creeper gets up and pushes his 6'2 ass into the air and does a full on head stand. I whipped out my cell phone and snapped a pic. This is awesome.
It's time to go. Creeper has friends waiting on him and I need to continue on to the next scene.
I get up and gather myself.
"Next time you come by, could you make yourself look just a little less touchable please, " he says to me.
One, who said there will be a next time? And two, no way jose. That's the basis of my entire wardrobe.
Creeper walks me out to my car. I wonder if he is going to kiss me goodbye. I hope not. Like I said, zero chemistry. I'm over it.
He doesn't. He wraps me into a hug then reaches down and gives the side of my hip, pre ass, a little squeeze. I'm leaving this guy more then a little frustrated.
I get in and drive away. Yeah. Done. But totally worth going back one last time. He is still funny as shit.
I roll out to the next scene. I am meeting Glass's at his house in the Hills for a preparty drink. He opens up the door and tells me, "Your in for a special treat."
After what I just left I'm a little weary about this line.
"My twin brother and uncle are in town. They are going to be rolling out with us tonight."
Sounds good to me. I'm the more the merrier kind of girl.
Glasses and I chit chat for a bit. A few drinks in and we are talking about exes. We both seem to think that ours are nuttier then the others. Later on that night, he almost wins.
His fam bam finally shows. His twin walks in, Glasses2. Same face, similar smiles, slightly beefier and definitely more reserved. No, not reserved. I think he is just more of a 'cool guy'. Used to working the whole aloof vibe. I recognize it. Its my own normal state of being.
The uncle is well, Uncle. On the younger side...mid 40's maybe. He is wearing the classic v-neck going out to party with the boys sweater. The crew has been collected and we are ready to go. Until we get a call from Douche Bag. He wants a ride. Great. I call shot gun.
We cruise down and pick him up before heading to the bar near Homeless boyfriends house where Partyboy works. He is working the door as usual. He gives me a quick squeeze and we all head inside.
The place is jumpin. We all snag a drink and I start bonding with the fam bam. We are a few drinks in when Glasses comes over to me with a distraught look on his face.
"dude, whats wrong?," I ask concerned.
"my ex is here," he tells me.
"What?! Where?"
"The loud one. Over there," he nods his head in the general direction of a girl just a little off to my left. She is wearing a last season BCBG dress and black wedges. Tacky. She is attractive tho. Brown like me, dark hair, red lipstick. She is pretty drunk and obnoxiously loud. Funny. Guess opposites do attract.
I look back at Glasses. The look on his face is heartbreaking. I put my arms around his neck and pull him closer to me, "wow dude. Your still in this aren't you?" I tell him.
Just then Pyscho girlfriend walks over and screeches in our ears, "This conversation looks way to deep for Glasses"
Jesus this girl is loud. And thats saying alot coming from me.
"Nothing deep. Just talking." I tell her calmly.
"I bet thats not the only thing he's giving you deep." she screeches back in what I'm assuming is her nonchalant party voice.
Huh? Who the fuck says something like that? About their man and another chick? In front of the two of them? Here I am looking at Glasses who is crumbling in his spot. The love and pain he still feels for her is written all over him. It blows my mind this broad can't see it. She doesn't deserve him.
Instead of responding I look at her like she's an idiot. I used to be a theater actress. I have the, what the hell did you just say, that was totally disgusting, face down to a science.
The look works. I see her party girl having a good time, facade crack and the, she just made me feel so stupid right now, look spread across her face. I let go of Glasses and he walks away. Damn. How bad does this suck for him?
Uncle comes over and gives me a 'wow' look. Tell me about it.
Street Artist comes into the bar and sits next to me. He tells me that they are heading out to an after party in a few. Cool, text me the address I tell him. As he turns to do just that I get a text from The Kid.
"Happy Birthday! How's everything going?...You prepared for next weekend?," aw, I love him. Ok, maybe I don't love him but I strongly like this guy. When he's around that is.
Psycho Girlfriend comes back over and pops my feel good misty bubble.
"whats going on between you and Glasses?" she asks me. She's taken her screech down an octave or two, trying to intimidate me I assume. My ears appreciate the reprieve.
I look up at her over my phone. I debate on not answering her and going back to my happy feel good texts. I look down for a moment to do just that, but sigh. She's still standing there.
"What do you mean?," I ask her, seriously disinterested.
"What's going on between you and Glasses," she repeats. Don't you hate it when you ask someone for clarification and instead of giving it to you they ask the same retarded question again?
"What do you mean?," I ask her again," are me and him fighting or something?"
I know I shouldn't be fucking with her. The girl is seriously upset. This is obviously a big deal to her. I just can't seem to bring myself to care. None of this is interesting to me. Its silly and petty and so totally predictable. I hang out with freaks and creatives to see new shit, not this. I'm not drunk enough to relate.
Just then Glasses comes over and pulls her away. I hear him telling her that we are just friends or something. I let them leave without a backward glance. Instead I go back to my phone and text The Kid back. I want to see what time his flight lands on Friday so that I can start to plan.
The evening pretty much continues like that. I'm sitting there socializing with my friends and texting occasionally to my boo, and psycho girlfriend is hating on me every chance she gets. Every now and then she walks by me and throws out insults, "Whore....bitch....whore." that's about it. Like I said. Not very creative.
I shrug it all off. Hell I don't even shrug. I have no investment in any of this. Let her have her drama. I'm having a good time just being me.
We all decide to head out. Partyboy is off work and we all want to head to Thai Angels restaurant for some more drinks and food. Psycho girlfriend is now beyond plastered. Glasses parks her car and pulls her out to roll with us. Great.
Uncle comes over to me and says, "She is so going to go after you at some point tonight."
"I know," I tell him, "I'm waiting for it."
I didn't have to wait long.
We all walk over to Glasses car. Partyboy is gathering his things so we pause to wait for him. She is standing a few feet in front of me snapping her gum. She turns around and says to me, "Will you stop snapping your gum so fucking loud, oh my god that's obnoxious!"
I look back at her, my face purposely blank. She looks away not knowing where to take this. Uncle laughs and says to me, "Are you even chewing gum?"
"Nope," I say, and we both giggle.
I walk towards the car. Best to get some space between the two of us.
I hear her screeching at Glasses,"That White bitch is not going with us!"
Uncle and I laugh, "I thought I was Mexican?" I say.
"Guess not," Uncle chuckles back.
"Please stop," Glasses is telling her. "She's just a friend."
But Psycho girlfriend has had enough. She has spent hours trying to antagonize me into an argument. Impossible. So she gives up and decides to take matters into her own hands.
She comes running across the street at me. Now I suppose a normal person would have ran away. Maybe yelled out. I didn't even bother dropping my purse. This ain't my first Rodeo.
I'm rocking a low side ponytail. She grabs at it and pulls. I don't react at first. I don't want to fight this girl. I don't care enough. I already knew she was going to come after me so I'm not upset that its happened. I just don't want t hurt her. I'm not a fighter and I definitely don't feel like fighting over something I have no investment in. The guys all run over to pull her off of me. But they take too long, and she gives my hair another hard yank. Ok. Now I'm in this.
I reach out and grab the back of her hair and in one swift movement shove her head down so that she is bent over in front of me. I tell her, "you don't want to fuck with me." She looses her grip and lets me go. Good. I hold her down there as the guys finally gather around and try to pull her away from me. Thats when she reaches out and grabs my dress. Now she's pissing me off. I'll be damned if she turns this into some half naked drunken girlfight. I make fun of those bitches. This is not going to happen.
I still have her bent over in front of me. I squeeze her hair a little harder and swing my left fist into her face. This should do the trick, but would you believe this drunk bitch is so gone it doesn't even phase her?
"We have her, let go Carrie," one of the guys tell me.
"Are you sure? You have her?" I ask back. I swear its like we are all trying to calm down a wild dog.
"yes yes we have her."
I loosen my grip and only let go when I feel them pulling her away. Party boy grabs me and pulls me to the side.
"Are you ok?" he asks.
"Yes I'm fine. You can go help them." I tell him.
Over to our right Psycho Girlfriend is going nuts. She is screaming and kicking at everyone. Partyboy runs over to help. Uncle comes over to me for comfort.
"you alright?" he asks me again. I tell him I'm fine. "Wow, your something else. Your just cool as a cucumber."
Guess I am. Like I said. This isn't my first Rodeo. On a scale from 1 to Crazy this barely rates a 2.
Just then Partyboy gets nailed in the balls. Ouch. This is bad. I can't watch anymore. I look away and fix my hair. Not much is out of place. She's lucky I wasn't wearing pants. I had plans for her and the side of the car behind me.
The guys are now trying to toss Psycho girlfriend into a cab. She's not having it.
"I got to go," I tell uncle.
"No, stay. Its ok. I'll make sure she doesn't come near you again," he pleads with me.
But I want to bail. My presence is causing way too much drama. Remove me from the equation and all your left with is a loud obnoxious girlfriend instead of the wild frothing at the mouth animal that's kicking and screaming at everyone in her sale rack BCBG dress that's in front of us now.
Damn I should have brought my car. I never not have my car. And this is the reason why. When I want to bail I don't want to have to rely on anyone.
"No, really. I'm gonna bail. I'll see if I can get a ride from someone in the bar."
Glasses2 walks up to us. And starts pleading with me along side Uncle, "No, seriously stay."
Ugh. Fine. Glasses is obviously out for the count tonight. I'll stay and play hostess. These poor guys look traumatized. I need to fix this since it looks like no one else can figure out how.
"Ok, I'll stay." they look relieved, "but I need to get my car. Go tell Glasses that I'll drive his car back and he needs to drive with her."
I know once I leave Glasses will be able to calm her down and drive with her in her car. Uncle runs off to grab the keys and in a few we are all pile in the car together gossiping about what just happened.
I drive to Glasses and finally get my car. We all split up and take both cars to the Thai Angels. We go inside and G2 orders shots all around. I take on gladly. PartyBoy orders some food and I split it with him. Things are slowly starting to feel normal again. I text Glasses. "Where you at? Everything ok?"
His responds, "heading to Thai's now."
"Alone?" I ask.
"No. coming with crazy. Im so sorry."
He's got to be kidding me? I want to go. I've already hit up Street Artist and told him I'd be meeting him at the house party soon. The crew makes me wait. I'm not sure if they are trying to make me feel better or if they are just holding onto the only sane person left in the group like I'm a life vest.
Glasses shows up. Psycho girlfriend stays in the car. We all decide to roll over to the party together. Via 3 cars. We split up. G2 is with me along with Douchebag and uncle. Partyboy takes Glasses car and Glasses is following behind with Psycho girlfriend. Its another freak parade.
I try to lighten the mood. I pop in my Brittany cd and me and G2 start grooving to the music. One good thing has come out of this experience. I've bonded with the fam bam. Trauma does that.
We get to the house party before Glasses pulls up. I make sure to make my way quickly into the party. I walk up alone. Up to this point I haven't spoken much to Partyboy. He's been strange all night. I have my suspicions about why, but for tonight I don't think much about it. Contrary to what everyone is probably thinking I'm still having a pretty good time.
I walk into the backyard and hear a group of half naked drunks screaming my name from the hot tub on the porch. Its a few members of the hipster crew. I love my friends.
"Carrie! Get in Get in!" They are chanting.
I laugh. You wish. I snap a few photos of them in their skivvies. There is a half naked girl in the tub with them. I think I'll sit this one out.
Just then I get a text from The Creeper, "So are you coming back over tonight?"
"Was i supposed to?" I respond. Lord oh lord this is a strange evening.
Creeper, "Make out party?" Followed by, "Mutual masturbation?? And then we go out and hold hands in public like you want"
"Lies!" I respond. This is fun. Maybe I will cruise over. Its been a long night and Psycho Girlfriend is still lurching about and Partyboy has some sort of stick up his ass so I might as well go kick it with the weirdo I know.
"How about a trade, " he texts, "Safe handjobs tonight...And god I'll go do karaoke with you soon. And I HATE karaoke."
I laugh. He knows I love karaoke. The offer is tempting.
"Maybe...what are you going to sing?" I ask him, totally ignoring the chaos around me. The guys are still yelling over for me to get in the tub. Partyboy is desperately trying to find a bottle opener for some wine he found...G2 is getting his groove on in the house and Glasses is with Psycho girlfriend in the living room. She appears to have calmed down a bit. Whatever. I'm in Creeperland right now. i turn back to my texting.
"Maybe...what are you going to sing?"
Creeper, "Anything you want. Just stop teasing me."
Ha. Now there's something I don't know how to do.
Me, "Its who I am. Bad habit."
Creeper, "Are you cummingggg over or not?"
Ew. I'm over it again. Now I just want to screw around with him.
"I don't have my car. I'll let you know when I do and I'll come right over." not.
He texts me over the next hour,
"Come here"
"hurry"
"come overrrrr"
Then finally, "I'm going to sleep now. Talk to you soon."
Whatever. Creeper is getting boring.
The hipsters finally get out of the hot tub and after getting dressed start to argue over who's underwear's are who's. They finally just decided to leave them both. So if you've ever wondered why or how you found mens undergarments in your yard after a party, there you go. Mystery solved.
"Can you give us a ride?" Street Artist asks me.
"Sure can, lets go." I tel him.
I'm done. I'm tired and too sober to continue partying till the sun rises. I go inside and pass out hugs and promises to hang the next day with everyone. I'm careful to avoid Glasses and PG.
"Let's go," I tell the boys.
Partyboy walks out with us. His bag is in my car.
"I'll call you later on," he tells me.
I don't reply and give him a quick kiss.
I drive the boys home. Its on they way to my house and I barely need to slow down to drop them off. I tell them about the fight. They find it hilarious. And honestly, so do I.
Once I saw them off I finally started making my way home. I'm about four blocks away when I get a call from G2.
"Where are you?" he asks.
"Almost home, why? Is everything ok?"
"I left my camera in your car." he tells me.
Damn. I pull over and start to look for it under his drunken phone guidance. My car is a mess. Not for any particular reason. Its just the way I roll. I start dumping trash onto the side of the street. I'm bent over ass in air on the side of Crescent Heights trying to find what I'm starting to believe is an imaginary camera.
"I don't see it." I tell him.
"It has to be there. Come back. Please? I have to find it."
Damn. Seriously? I finally escaped. And he wants me to go back?
He continues to plead with me. He is convinced that its in my car. So much so that he is starting to make me believe it. I decide to go back. I'll feel like the biggest asshole if I wake up tomorrow to find the camera pressed in between the car seats.
"Good, I'll be waiting outside on the curb for you. Hurry."
No pressure. Back up to the hill I drive. This night is so never going to end.
I pull up the street and sure enough there he is, sitting on the side of the road. We start to dig thru my car together. Its not there.
"Maybe I left it at the restaurant." he says.
I pull out my phone and try to call. I can't find the correct number online.
"We just need to drive there," he says.
Whatever. Lets roll. I've come this far.
I call up Partyboy for directions. He answers and tell him to come out front.
He walks out with the whole crew. Next thing I know Uncle, Partyboy and Douchbag are all back in my car. I'm not sure how it happened but the night has somehow started over agian.
We caravan back to Thai Angels. Uncle starts talking about how cool I am again.
"Yeah, she's a trooper," Partyboy says from the backseat, rubbing my shoulders.
Yeah. Nothing. Time to go home. I start plotting my escape. I'm going to drop them all off, make sure G2 finds his camera and the drive away into the sunset.
We get back to Thai Angels and I call up G2 who has already entered the joint.
"Did you find it?" I ask when he picks up.
I see him walk out of the restaurant and with the phone still to his ear he says, "yes maam!"
I'm so irrationally excited! We both snap our phones shut and I run over to him. He grabs me from beneath my bottom and lifts me into the air. We are spinning around and screaming excitedly like a couple of geeks. Its sooo time for me to go to bed. I'm officially delirious.
I turn to uncle and give him a hug goodbye. I pull away and for one awkward moment he pauses. I know these moments. The tiniest sigh from me, if just one strand of hair moves, and he'll go in for a kiss. I hold my ground and the moment passes. He's drunk so I let it slide.
I give G2 a hug and I see Partyboy walking into the restaurant. Oh well, I'll text him. I need to bail while I can.
Finally I make it home without another call from anyone. I go to take off my ring. Damn. I had this on when I hit her. Its a huge piece of costume jewelery. about the size of a marble and dammit that bitches face cracked it! Now I'm pissed.
In bed by 6am. My birthday bash day 2 has finally come to an end. Tomorrow starts day 3.
I'm pretty sure this year is going to kill me.
WCC
No comments:
Post a Comment