The Kid - Day 1

You know you were loaded the night before when you wake up with your 21 and over club bracelet still on...and very little else.

I picked up The Kid from the airport yesterday. I was so excited! I had stayed up all night cleaning my house and prepping for his arrival. This was the first time he had come out to visit me in LA.

I received a text from him at 7am, " We're taking off! Woot woot! What's for breakfast?"

The boy loves to eat...I jumped out of bed to finish my prepping, irrationally giddy.

Two hours before his flight arrives.  I throw in a few loads of laundry and finish up my last minute cleaning. I get the call an hour and a half later. "We're here."

"See you in 20." I reply. Their flight landed early. Damn.I throw on a short fitted dress and a pair of black gladiators. I look at myself in the mirror. Good enough. Besides, I'm pretty sure I already have this guy in the bag.

I cruise down to LAX to pick them up. I get stopped at the check point by LAX security. Naturally. The copper makes  few jokes about patting me down. I humour him and grin along as if I think he is clever and cute till he finally sends me on my way.  Atleast now I know I look good.

I see the two of them on the curb. The Kid has brought his friend Goodtimes with him. I had partied with Goodtimes twice before. The guy was a blasty blast. Super outgoing, down for anything, and a total jokester. This was gonna be a fun weekend.

"What's up ya'll" I yell, and run over to The Kid to give him a squeeze. He is looking super hot in his pancake hat and shades.

"Hope you guys are ready to party LA style," I tell them.

"Lets do this!," Goodtimes replies.

I'm practically hopping in my seat. I babble the whole drive to the beach. I just can't believe he's here! In my car...hell in my city. My worlds are colliding. All these years he has been back in the shadows. Out of state out of mind. But he's here, and its real. I look over and trip out how my California sun is hitting his cutie pie face. He smiles. He looks just like Joey from friends when he smiles. Hot.

We get to our destination, Hermosa Beach. Its the closet to the airport and the boardwalk is a good starting point. Instead of walking up to the restaurant I detour them to the pier. They are loving it. Its a beautiful clear sunny day. The waves look gorgeous even to me. They pull out their cameras and start snapping photos. I'm so proud to show them my city. I'm determined to make this day the best.

After a few I lead them back to the restaurant. I chose Henneseys on the pier. They have a roof top deck overlooking the ocean with glass walls to protect us from the winds. I can tell they dig it.

We grub down and the boys get their party started with a few drinks. Bloody Mary for Goodtimes. Dirty Martini for The Kid. I indulge in a mimosa wanting to fit in and be part of the crowd. Two sips in and I'm already buzzed. Now I just want grab The Kid by his face and get my mack on...but alas, that's not our way. The casual observer would never know that we are together. He and I were friends at first and we still act the same way when in public. As much as I am hating it I actually enjoy the anticipation. Its like we are hooking up for the first time every time I see him.

We finish up our breakfast and its time for me to take them to destination number two. I take side streets and turn off onto PV Drive South. It leads us along the back side of the Palos Verdes hills. Its a lovely drive. On our left we see insane multi million dollar homes perched perilously on the side of the cliffs...To our right, a drop off to the Pacific ocean. Cameras are out again. I pop in my Los Lonely Boys cd and begin to plan out the rest of the day in my head. I'm thinking tide pools in Pedro followed by Sunken City. They are going to trip.

I drive down the backside of the cliff to Royal Palms State Beach. The drive down is steep but offers a great view of whats to come. I hear both the boys gasp in awe. They live in a state without beaches. I can only imagine what this must look like to them. The tidepools are mad cool. The waves are crashing up against the exposed coral and rock. We jump out of the car and I lead them from rock to rock to the edge of the beach. The tide is low and there is plenty to see. Crabs are scuttling everywhere. I force them both to touch a few sea urchins attached to the side of the pools.

The Kid doesn't have a problem but Goodtimes has a small freak with one. I pull out the video and begin to shoot his repeated attempts to touch the sea life. He finally connects screaming like a girl as he runs away from the squishy little creature. We spend the rest of the day telling him that he finger banged sea life.

Both the boys are grinning from ear to ear. They keep looking at each other passing a silent, can you believe this?, message with their eyes. You boys ain't seen nothing yet

We hop back in the car and I continue our cruise down the coast to Point Ferman Park. I park the car in front of the cliff top biker bar and I lead them over to the wall separating the park from the cliff side.

"hop on over boys, " I tell them as I do just that. There is a small ledge on the other side. I lead them to the fence along the side of the cliff and show them how to slip under the man made hole so that we can sneak onto the other side.

We walk along the cliff side for a bit and then they finally they see it. Sunken City.

Back in the day this used to be apart of the city. Streets and houses line the coast until 1929 when the coast began to slip into the ocean. All but two houses were saved but the rest went right into the sea. All that's left now are large slaps of sidewalks and streets. The ground isn't level so the the debris is scattered everywhere. My favorite piece is a huge slab of street about the size of a car that is perched on top of a pointed rock. The entire area is covered in brightly colored spray paint from dozens of taggers that roll through, wanting to mark that they've been here. The end result is the coolest best kept secret in Los Angeles, all sitting on the back side of a town that rarely is driven through.

We continue to take photos and joke around. The grins are still there. We've done alot in the since their plane landed. I'm satisfied with the days tourism. Its been a few hours since our last drink so I lead them back through the hole in the fence and cruise to Ports O'Call to drink up some Margaritas along side the harbor.

We are all having a good time. They trip out on the huge ships docked at the port right in front of our water side restaurant. The sea gulls are annoying the hell out of everyone and we are getting sufficiently buzzed again.

It's getting late so I load them back up so that we can make the trek back to West Los Angeles. They've seen the Southbay. Now its time to show them Hollywood. And LA freaking traffic. They both take a quick nap as I expertly swerve through the mounds of cars. I pull off onto Venice blvd and stop by the grocery so that the boys can buy their booze for the weekend. They are on vacation and plan on being good and toasted while they are here.

Back at my place I begin to make my calls. The Kid is here and I need to gather the crew to help show them a rockin good time. Hippie Chick has a plan in the works as usual and invites us all to tag along.

"Where to?," I ask.

"Ying Yang Twins concert at the Key Club in Hollywood," she answers.

Hilarious. We are so in.

I jump online to try to buy tickets but every site I look at says that they are sold out. I shoot a few texts over to Homeless boyfriend for help. "Don't worry," he says. "There are tickets.

But I'm still worried. My worse nightmare would be for us to show up and get turned away at the door. I text Hippie Chick about the situation and she calls me back.

"Carrie. Don't worry about it. There is two words you need to learn when hanging with us. Repeat after me. Tickets shmikets." she tells me.

I laugh and repeat it,"Tickets shmikets."

"Say it again with conviction," she tells me.

"Tickets Shmickets!," I yell into the phone. Alright. To Hollywood we go.

We all get dolled up for the night and I get another text from HC. "Meet us at the bar."

She means Partyboys bar. Where he is working. Tonight. This is going to be interesting. I mean I know I killed him off but he doesn't know that. I''m going to need to avoid him just in case he decides to have a 'warm' night with me.

I shoot Henny a text to tell her where the meet and greet is going to be. She was trying to ditch out on the nights festivities so I decide to guilt the hell out of her to change her mind.

"I told you The Kid was coming almost 2 months ago! You are not going to make me go to this bar by myself to deal with Partyboy and The Kid at the same time. Now get dressed bitch and I'll see you there." I text her.

She responds with a simple,"ok, I'm there."
I love my friends.

We drive down to Homeless Boyfriends apartment and give them a quick call to see if they are still upstairs. I definitely don't I want to roll up to the bar with my two boys and have Partyboy check our ID's alone. "Were still here, come on up," she says. Good. Glad I called.

We walk up the stairs to the second floor and as we walk up to the apartment door Homeless Boyfriends roommate pops out the door to greet us. He is still wearing what I have to believe is his pajamas, his trademark blue glasses and he is rocking some mad Astro Boy hair. "Hey Astro, whats going on with you?" I ask him, looking into his half baked eyes.

"Long long week. I need to get some sleep.," he tells me.

I laugh and ask if he's heading out with us.

"Hellz yeah," he replies instantly perking up. Got love this crew.

We walk into the apartment and I start with introductions.  Besides Homeless Boyfriend and Hippie chick the Street Artist is also there and a couple of other randoms from the Hipster crew. The room is thick with the smell of weed. Its a party night fo sho.

Astro runs into his room and comes back out a few later in his going out clothes.
"Hey, I got a new rhyme," he tells us excited."I'm calling it Brownies and Benedryl...because that's what I'm on."

I'm guessing he's not referring to the pure chocolate kind.  Astro starts busting out his rap. He is truly bad ass when it comes to dropping a flow and the room is bopping their heads to his song.  A few seconds in one of the hipsters starts beat boxing along with him. Within a few minutes the entire room has added another layer of vocal percassions and the song really starts to take shape. The Kid and Goodtimes are busting up. My friends rock.

I leave the boys socializing and duck into the room with Hippie Chick to help her finish getting dressed. She decides on some black shorts, off the shoulder rocker tshirt and a pair of lace up ankle boots. She ties her hair into a side braid and puts a hippie headband  on her head. We are red to go.

We all pile onto the street and head to the bar. Just then Henny pulls up. The only place to park is a small spot that requires some skilled parallel parking. We all begin to scream and rag on her until she securely locks herself into position. More hugs. The crew is gathered. Its time to hit the front door and see Partyboy.

 I'm nervous. I need to make this quick. Say hello and get my happy ass into the bar before too many words are exchanged. Luckily for me The Kid and I are still in friend  mode so I don't have to worry about any hand holding or surprise kisses. Now Partyboy on the other hand...well, with him you can never quite tell what he's going to do.

We walk up to the door and I cut ahead of The Kid and Goodtimes so I can say hi out of ear shot of the two. Partyboy pulls me into a hug. I cut it short and tell him, "Dude, I have your sweater in my car. I'll get it to you before I leave for sure k?"

I try to make it sound cool and on the friend tip.

He responds, "Yeah ok cool, um I wanted to talk to you later too."

Huh? Talk to me about what? My mind starts to race. I mean what does he want to discuss? Maybe he wants to tell me about his girl? But that would be weird. Maybe he wants to explain why he turned cold so quickly? But why bother? We are already done and cool hanging out together. Whatever. I can't talk with him tonight so I just let it go.

I turn around and wave at the boys to follow me in. Partyboy gives them both a quick glance but lets them in without a question. Good. He suspects nothing. I mean I know he and I are done, but I still think its rude to bring a dude here. I decide to stay as far away from the front door as possible tonight.

I show the guys around the bar. Its warm and jumpin in side. We head to the back bar and order drinks all around. I order a shot and the boys get martinis the bars specialty. They both already have a buzz on. We have been prepartying it all day.

Its fun. We are all talking and taking pics and getting our booze on. I know I'm definitely getting buzzed at this point because The Kid is looking yummier and yummier by the minute.

He is sitting on a tall chair against the wall. I lean over and sit in between his legs. I can't help but get a quick flash back on how I had did this very same thing just a few days ago with Partyboy. But this ain't him. The kid opens up immediately and lets me in. I grab his hands and he gives me a squeeze. Hmmm. Better.

Its getting late and Homeless boyfriend makes the announcement that its time to get to the next venue. We all decide to catch a cab to head over to the Key Club for the concert. Great. Now I have to walk back through the front door and Partyboy again. This is starting to feel like an obstacle course.

We get to the front and lucky for me Partyboy is talking to someone. I duck by him and onto the street. Done. I'll give him his sweater later.  I'm too buzzed to engage.

We snag a couple of cabs and split up. The Kid, Goodtimes, Astro and me in one. Street Artist, Henny, Homeless boyfriend and Hippie chick in the other. I place my head on his shoulder as we drive, our fingers laced together. Man I like this guy.

My phone rings. Its Partyboy. What the hell? I turn my phone to silent. Guess he wants his sweater. Too late. I'm gone. 
We get to the club in two shakes of a lambs tail. The line is small but we seldom worry about that. Homeless boyfriend and Astro head to the front and give their names and we all head into the club single file line like.

The ground floor is packed, so we head up to the third floor for some room and a no wait bar. Street Artist walks up to me and hands me a red rose. Behind him I see Henny holding a white rose against her nose. "You bought us roses?," I ask him taking the gift.

"Yep," he says grinning ear to ear.

So freaking sweet. I give him a huge hug and kiss on the cheek. This guy rocks.

The music is loud and so are we. The night is an awesome blur. I barely even realized when the Ying Yang Twins hit the stage. The third floor is almost empty so it feels like our own private party. Street Artist pulls Henny and me to the bar and orders a couple of Hennessy shots for the two of us. Man this guy is on fire tonight. We take the shot...and then another. I'm officially drunk.

"So are you still loving my blog?," I ask him.

"Hell yeah,"he responds "dude, you know why its so great? Because its us. Your documenting us, who we are and what we do everyday. Its awesome."

I grin. He's right. I love being the one documenting our lives. Good times.

"So that's The Kid huh," he asks me nodding over in the Kids general direction.

"Yep," I say with a smile.

"Well get back over there, I don't want to keep you from him."
Smart man. I head back over.

Its been hours since I had first picked him up at the airport and still no kiss from my man. I've been determined not to be the first to do it. It's hard. I'm usually a total dude when it comes to these things, so its an effort to hold back my perv.

I walk up to him and wrap my arm around his shoulders and ask, "You having a good time?"

He looks at me and instead of answering he leans in for a kiss. I'll take that as an affirmative.
The kiss is awesome. On a scale from ten to the best he rates number one. Always has.

We pull away to see Goodtimes face planted between us. "Its about freaking time," he yells excitedly.
I laugh and go back in for another.

The Kid is good and drunk at this point. He is not a dancer by nature but he's getting his jiggy on. He pulls up behind me and starts bumping and grinding to the music. He starts to drop it to the floor. I laugh and go down with him. The boy wants to dance? I'll show him some dancing. I start to bump and grind with him with a practiced skill only a trained tahitian dancer can do. The reaction is immediate. Its again makeout time and I'm loving it.

I'm surrounding by my friends and my man and the music is bumping. I'm drunk and getting my mack on. I'm having a good freaking time. Then it hits me. This night is only going to get better because I'm actually going to get layed.

Hallefreakingluyah!  It's been months since I've done the deed. I mean I've fooled around a bit...as you know...but as far as going all the way? Its been a hot minute. 

Like I've said, I'm not the casual sex type. Besides The Kid, I've never done it. And I wouldn't really call The Kid casual. Its been 3 years of on again off again good times. No fights, no breakups, no expectations. Just a call when I'm in town and we are a ready made couple. Can't wait to get home...

The concert is over and we all head out. We decide to go grab some food but we are all out of cash leaving us cabless. Homeless boyfriend tells us we should just walk, it isn't far.

Well the man is big fat liar face. I swear this is the longest walk I've ever taken. I'm in booted heels and my feet are not loving it. The crowd gets way ahead of The Kid and I. Goodtimes heads back to the club to join Astro who is interviewing the Ying Yang Twins. So the Kid and I are on our own.

Between my booted feet and his drunken stumbling, we are a hot mess. I'm taking tiny painful steps and he looks like he is playing a game of ping pong with his own body.  It's taking forever and I'm starving to death. Luckily for me about half way through our walk we get offered a snack from our new found stranger friend Scottyboy. Scotty is standing on the side of the sidewalk by himself holding a large cheese pizza.

"help me eat this, please?" he pleads with us.

Well ask and you shall receive mr man.

The pizza is amazing. I wish I would have looked at the box to see where it was from. We are walking down Santa Monica blvd grubbing on cheese pizza on our way to an all night diner. Awesome.

We finish up the pizza and Scotty says his goodbyes. So strange. Maybe he's like some kind of pizza fairy or something. Whateves. Scotty where ever you are, I appreciate you.

I get a text from Partyboy. This boy is on tripping me out tonight. I had shot him a quick text a few hours ago saying,"Sorry man. Drop ur sweater off later. I'm drunk as hell."

He sends a text to me now,"What u guys doin?"

Partying without you.
"Walking down santa monica eating free pizza...we sort of lost the group. Drunk."

He doesn't respond. Strange night. I don't feel like the guy is trying to hook up with me again. I think maybe he just wants to hang. That would be preferred. Glasses and I are pretty close now so I want to be able to be comfortable around his friends. I would love to do the friend thing with this guy. But not tonight. Tonight I have a date.

We finally get to the diner. The whole crew is already assembled at a six foot table. After a few Goodtimes and Astro come rolling in.

We all sit and order up some grub. I'm pretty full from the 2 slices of pieces I ate on our walk up so I just order a salad. We are all laughing and breaking down the nights escapades. Street Artist stands up and taps his fork against his glass.

"I just want to thank all of you for being here. I'd like to thank my food. I'd like to thank the Ying Yang twins for showing us a rockin good time. I'd like to thank West Coast Carrie for what she does. I'd like to thank my parents..." he rattles on. Honestly I don't remember the whole speech, except that it was funny and we were drunk and he thanked me. Best speech of all time if you ask me.

The night is turning into early morning. We all pile back out onto the street. Thankfully Homeless Boyfriends apartment is only one block down. We all pass out hugs and goodbyes and I drive the boys back to my place.

Not sure how I made it. I've had way too much to drink tonight but somehow I get our happy ass's home. I walk into my living room and lay down on my super comfy shag carpet. I would have layed there all night. But The Kid had other plans. He walks over to me and grabs the back of my jacket and with a quick pull says,"Lets go!"

Yes sir. I get up and head off to my bedroom with him. I throw off my shoes and lay down on the bed fully clothed. The Kid comes in and turns off the light. Sorry,once again, this one is for my eyes only.

I woke up the next morning naked with my clothes piled neatly by my head. I can feel my makeup smeared across my face. I probably look like a total crack whore. I pop up and head to the bathroom to wash up. Now I'm grinning from ear to ear. Day 1 has came and went and it was awesome.

I walk back into my room and lay back down next to The Kid. He pulls me into his arms and we drift back to sleep for another hour.

Great day. Great morning. It's gonna be a great weekend.

For My Eyes Only

I think that one needs to be in decent shape before engaging in sexual activities.

I mean, I dance and I work out and all, but sex uses different muscles. Its best if one trains for it. But how is that done? I mean masturbating isn't really the same now is it? 

It's been a long weekend and The Kid and I were exhausted this morning. But its our last morning together so when we woke up it was still game on.  No, I'm not going to describe every bump and grind. This one is for my eyes only. But I will say that he started off generous as usual. He made sure I got mine first before moving onto his own moans and giggles.

I rolled over to get on top of him to work my magic. No one does it like a professional tahitian dancer, let me tell you. If I can shake a grass skirt like a rag doll, the things I can do to a man is enough to make you cry.  But man this morning I'm tired. I've been on winter break from dancing so this is totally winding me. But I'm a trooper. I ignore the burning muscles in my thighs and pant my way through it until I finally make the mans toes curl. His words, not mine.

We are heading off to get some breakfast now. I'm getting a bit sad. The Kid is leaving. It was a good time.

I'll tell you all about it tonight when my house is empty and my bed is cold....

Birthday Blast day 4 - Sunday Sunday Sunday!

Day 4 of my birthday weekend has finally arrived. Trust me. I'm ecstatic. I can't party anymore.

Feeling better at work. Just a bit anxious to get to the BBQ. I step out to take my lunch at about 1:30pm. It is beyond beautiful outside. 75 degrees for sure. In January. Gotta love LA. I give Glasses a call to see where they're at. I can hear the crew in the backround yelling for me to hurry up and come down. Screw it. I'm the boss. I'm out.

I go back into work, clock in, give out a few orders, then clock back out. Feels great. I'm out bitches.

I head home to change. I decide on some lowrise, wide leg jeans, 6 inch wedges, and a  green tank with my favorite beige crochet vest thrown over it. I'm totally hippied out. My favorite look.

I arrive at Glasses with the sun still shining high in the sky. The boys are all there except for Partyboy, along with a few additional party goers. PB must still be working. I give out hugs to Uncle and G2....and I even suffer through a hug to Douchebag.  I have a seat and Glasses walks over to the bar to make me a drink. They're watching a football game on the big screen. Uncle is grilling up some steak and chicken. Yum. Finally, a relaxing birthday party.

G2 pulls out his camera and starts flipping through the photos with us. They are hilarious. You can see everyone getting gradually drunker and drunker in each shot. Then I spot something. My fingerless turquoise glove. I keep them in my car for in the mornings when its cold. And its sitting on Douchbags left hand. He is only wearing one.

"What the hell?! That's my glove! When did you take that?" I ask him.

"The night before. I guess I slipped one on in your car." Douche tells me.

"Where is it now?" I ask.

"Well lets see.." he grabs the camera and we all squeeze in to watch him flip through the photos.

Its too funny man. Its like we are playing a game of where's Waldo. Every 2 or 3 shots the glove reappears. That damn thing looks like it had a better time then me this weekend! It finally appears in a photo at his house. Gameover. Good times.

"Hey do you guys want to head up to the Teepee?" one of the party goers asks. Say what? Uh, hell yeah.

I run to grab my sunglasses from my purse as they all start shuffling out the back door. As I rush after them the front door opens and Partyboy walks in. He looks over at me and smiles. I give him a quick wave and yell at the crew to wait up. I'd rather not stop to give out hugs. I have no idea where this damn teepee is and I have no intentions of missing out.

There's a steep hill behind the house. Tall grass, a few trees. And a horribly make shift path cut into the hillside. Did I mention that I'm wearing 6 inch wedges? This is going to be interesting.

I yell over to G2 to help me. Put the beefy to work. Somehow someway I make it up with his assistance and those of a few trees and shrubs along the way. Once I hit the top I see it. A huge freaking indian Teepee. I walk up to the opening and see a small fire pit and a dusty bean bag. The flap is open on the other side to reveal an awesome view of the city. I'd love to come up here at night. I make a note to make that happen another time.

We spend a little time up top goofing around and taking photos. After a few Partyboy comes up to join us.  He walks over to me and gives me a quick hug and happy birthday. I'm still tripping out on him a bit. He's been weird since he got back. Could it be because he just saw his girl? No. I don't think so. He's a ho bag, that I know fo sho. No guilt on his part. He obviously follows the same zip code rule I do.

It's getting cold so I decide to head back down. Glasses helps me and we somehow get to the bottom without me falling down and dragging him with me. We hear a click and look up to see G2 taking pictures of us from the top of the hill.

"I'm going to send these to Psycho Girlfriend!," he yells down.
Ass.

Uncle is slicing up the steak as we walk in. He is setting out two plates. One for rare, the other medium, both beyond delicious. About an hour after we finish eating Partyboy walks over to me and asks me to follow him.
Huh? I thought we were pretending we don't know each other buddy?
Before I can respond G2 asks to see my phone. Whats going on here?
I hand it over and he asks how to put it on Camera mode. What did these guys do?

Then the singing starts. my little rat pack bought me a cake. A cheesecake to be exact. One with a huge penis drawn right above the top of my name. A Partyboy addition apparently. I don't know what it is about this guy and penis's. He's sent me 2 of his in the past and a whole flurry of penis jokes. Anyways, Penis Cheesecake from the Party Guys. Fitting and super sweet.

The day goes on, we talk and drink and laugh about the weekends antics. As the day slowly turns into early evening Uncle and G2 start to pack up to go. They live up north and have a long drive ahead of them. They only stayed as long as they did to hang for my bday. I give them both a sad hug goodbye. "Don't forget to call me and yell every now and again G2", I remind him.

"Count on it." he tells me.

Most of the crowd has headed out my then. Its just me Glasses, Douchebag and Partyboy. Douche and I somehow get into a conversation about the Pauly Shore party. I have a few pictures on my phone so I show them to him. He comes across one of Henny and nearly falls over.

"I'm in love," he tells me.

I don't have the heart to tell this guy besides the fact she already has a man, she also just so happens to not be able to stand The Douche man.

Instead I take the conversation as an opportunity to bond with the guy. I show him more photos of Henny and the rest of my girls. I have tons of photos of my dance group so we have plenty to look at and talk about. It's nice. I'm making an effort to not hate the guy. Honestly I sort of respect his Doucheness. Atleast he is consistant. With him you know what to expect and he is honest with who he is. Unlike someone I know sitting across the room staring at us.

I know that expression on his face. He looks curious and a little confused.  My suspicions begin to take a stronger hold. I know that Douchebag has talked shit about me. It's who he is. I had found out the other day  that the reason Glasses never showed up to the Roxy the night of my birthday was because Douchebag told him it was too hard to get in. Which was complete bullshit. There was never a line. But like I said. He's consistent. Douchebag is irritated by me and didn't want his friend to hang by my side.

I've noticed an interesting dynamic between Douchebag and Partyboy. Douche is sort of the ring leader. Loud and controlling. I wouldn't call him a Party Chaser. More of a, where the hell is the party?, kind of guy. He wants to be the man with the plan and needs a following to feel good about himself. Partyboy is a perfect sidekick for him. Being a party chaser means that he has to be friends with someone who finds the party. Its a perfect balance of give and take.

Well I think that Glasses isn't the only one Douche has talked shit about me too. I'm pretty sure he's given Partyboy an ear full too. I play back the last few days in my head. Everytime it was just PB and I he was cool. When Douche was there? Not so much. I decide to test out my theory.

We are all hanging out on the patio. They boys are smoking. Partyboy is sitting on the wall alone and Douchebag is chit chatting with Glasses in front of him. I walk over to Partyboy and lean up against him in between his legs. Shouldn't be a big deal. I mean I remember just a few nights ago when the guy threw me down into my back seat while everyone was trying to get in to give me a quick mack down.

I see Douchebag's eyes look over at us. Partyboy doesn't react. Nothin.

Motherfucker. I was right. Douche is a hater. I know exactly what happen. This guy is pissed about the other night. He had came onto me hard and I denied his ass. No worse, I denied him, told him I'm into his friend, and then left his ass standing alone on the dance floor. All causing a huge dent in his super sized ego. Partyboy is easily influenced. He is so desperate to be accepted and loved by this group that instead of realizing he already is, he feeds off the bullshit that is told to him like a good party chaser to keep his position in the group.

Ugh. I'm over it. Like I said. I don't ask for much. Just consistency. So much for my attempt at allowing him to be my casual sex guy. What? It could have happened? Yeah, your right. I'm full of shit. I'm a firm believer in being the girl they want, not the girl they've had...but he doesn't know that! What a turn off.

After a few Douchebag makes the party announcement they we all should head over to the W for drinks. I honestly can't think of anything I want to do less at the moment. Glasses looks like he is in the same boat. Partyboy on the other hand is ready to go. Surprise, surprise.

Douche wants to go home and change so I offer them a ride. Glasses says he will change and catch up with us later. I know he's full of it. He and I are so on the same page.

I drive to Douchebags house with Partyboy in the back seat, Douche in the front. Guess the leader of the pack rides shot gun. Once we pull up I tell him to go get my glove. He laughs and runs up to grab it. I turn around to Partyboy. He leans over and gives me a few kisses. Cheap.

"Really? Boring." I tell him.

"Sorry," he says looking anxious to get out of the car. He thinks that Douchebag left him.
Geez. Relax buddy. He's coming right back down. He reminds of a little boy with separation anxiety with his daddy. When did this guy become so unattractive? He hops out of the car and heads upstairs. Later.

Douche runs back down and hands me my glove. I give him a quick hug goodbye through my window and drive off. Its funny, I'm actually getting used to the guy. He's real and easy to read. And a leader. Qualities I can respect.

Its still early and I'm not really ready to head home. I call Glasses back. He's still at home. Knew it. I tell him if its ok if I cruise on back...he gives me the go ahead.

When I get back to his house I do the unthinkable. I let him read my blog. And to my surprise, he loves it. Couldn't get enough. We sat side by side in his room. He read along silently as I resided my blog to him. He couldn't stop laughing.

"Does Partyboy know you do this?," he asks me.

"Hell no! And you can't tell him either. You're now a trusted. Don't get Peter Parker killed man." I warn him.

He laughs. He is having a grand ol time. I guess I would to. He knows these characters. They are him and his friends. Well maybe a cartoon version of themselves but them just the same. Makes sense he's laughing. He's character rocks. Now Creeper on the other hand? Yeah. He is really really hating me now. I might have to change my number. Totally worth it.

I head home after a few hours, having sufficiently bounded with Glasses over some shit talking and cheesecake.

Finally home and in bed.
My 4 days of birthday antics have finally come to an end. Thank you Jesus. I'm totally good till next year.

Oh, almost forgot. RIP Partyboy. WCC is out!









I can hear the ghost of Creeper past...Liar...

I Love Creeper

I was bored. So I text Creeper. Why the hell not?

Me: "Creeper Hates Me."

I don't really expect a response. He was pretty pissed at me before. Done. He thought I was a head case tease. I would probably have to harass him for a few days before he will be willing to text me back.

"Wait. What!! You want to trade Bjs?? Weirdddddd" he responds within seconds.

A huge grin breaks across my face. Creeper Loves Me. Freak.

"Totally" I text back.

Creeper:"You. Are. A. Liar."

I totally am. I have absolutely no intentions of seeing this guy again. And there is no way in hell I would ever put the mans penis in my mouth. Ew. Creeper penis. No thanks.

I respond, "Prove it."

What? I'm bored.

"So if you came over right this second you'd let me go down on you. And then right after you'd go down on me??? Hahaha... Yeah you're definitely not gonna do that" he texts.

Ok. Maybe I was wrong about him being relationship guy. I think he is creepy stoner middle of the night Match.com pervy guy. Looks like I had him pegged from the get go.

"Sure I will," I respond."Right after karaoke."

Lets see if he really is a Creeper.

"Sorry" he sends back.

Yep. Perv. I'm out.

"Thought so. Guess we're both liars." I send him.

I'm not sure how he is going to respond to this line. I wonder what this guy does? Stalks the halls of Match.com until he finds a taker? Someone to enjoy mutual masturbation with? Creepster.

"I just don't think we fit in the datey way. So if you want to go on dates with me then it's not gonna work. But I also completely respect you not wanting to hook up with me too. I get it." he texts.

Huh? He doesn't think we fit in the datey way? I don't need a date dude, I would just like to see you socializing with one other person so that I know your weird ass has atleast one friend.

Yep. He's a perv. Not interested in dating but wants a quick hook up. I can respect that.

I want to tell him. I mean I'm done with all of this. He doesn't know where I live. He's never met my friends. I've already blocked him from my social networks. What could be the harm?

I see that Pop a Squat is on FB. I send her a message.
"I want to tell Creeper the truth. Should I do it?"

"no, he's way to sensitive & he'll leave comments bashing!" she says.

"Maybe. But I can delete them. He just told me that he doesn't think we would work in a datey way. He is just looking to hook up with me. I think i had it right the first time. He's a perv. So do i tell?"

PaS: "yes he is but just be on he look out for his revenge! lol"

Me: "i don't think he will. i think he'll be blown away. i think he is a creeper. not so much sensitive as just weird. i think he is a writer. he might appreciate it. not sure. i do talk mad shit tho!!"

PaS:"go for it. I'd love to hear his replies"

"Let me screw with him a bit first and see what happens." I tell her.

I send him another message,"lol. Had you pegged the first time. You are by far my favorite character dear Creeperpoo."

Creeper,"So pretend like you want to go down on me already."

Ew. I'm done. Fuck it. I'm telling him.

Ok. No. Calm down. I want to know something first while he's still talking to me.

"Ok. Answer me something honestly. And I'll tell you something that will blow your mind..Do you actually creep the corridors of Match looking for hook ups or do you go out with people and that's just the way it was with me? Hones answer. Inquiring minds want to know. Tons actually." I text him.

I'm hoping he answers with the truth. I want to close this guy out. But I'm dying to know. For me and for you dear reader.

Then the most amazing thing happens. He tells me the truth.

"I'm looking for a girlfriend. If I can't find her, I'm looking for someone awesome to blow me occasionally. Hahaha. Can't believe I just wrote that. I'm awesome." he sends.

I freaking love it! This is better then any ending I could have made up. I love you dear Creeper. Rock on brother..Rock on.

I text back my goodbyes, "You really really are. Thank you so much Creeper. you gave me the perfect ending to nan awesome saga. You were so the fan fav. You rock baby."

"toots. See ya never?" he sends.

Funny. He thinks he's giving me the kiss off. Guess he is. He just doesn't know that I don't care.

"Wait!," I tell him,"let me finish this post so I can give you a proper kiss goodbye. Give me two secs and I'll send you the link. God you rocked lol."

But before I can finish typing this all out, Creeper sends another message, "Well just so you know for future reference you should know that I actually think you're really cool. That's why I'm being so honest and obviously self destructive... "

Huh? What the hell? Why is he ruining this moment for me?

Me:"Ugh! Seriously dude? I'm in the middle of this and then you have t go all sensitive guy on me? I can't keep closing and reopening the book on your ass. Pick one. The honest one or the Creeper so that my alter ego can stop battling on what to do."

I know this is probably making very little sense to him. I'm totally having an imaginary argument with him. I'd give a dollar to know what he thinks I'm ranting about. Dammit. I wanted to finish this up and send him the WCC link. Now I feel kind of shitty again. Maybe he isn't the Creeper?

Creeper, "I know were not wifey material but I also know you're a little too cool to fall for my normal Bj schtick...So I decided t just let you knowwwwwwwwwww... You deserve wayyyyy more than what I'm offering that's for sure."

Annndddd the Creeper is back. He was just trying to get his kicks and eat them too. Love it.

I send him the WCC blogspot link. Here goes nothing.

RIP dear Creeper. Thanks for the good time. Kisses on your clammy face.

Bestie's

Its Sunday night and my birthday weekend has officially ended. It was just as eventful as I thought it would be. And I'm walking away from it with something I didn't expect. A new friend. A real friend. Not one of those, we are friends when you are doing something that I'm interested in types. But more of the, I care about you as a person and love kicking it in your space because I enjoy who you are. You know, someone new that I can include with those that I call my LA Fam Bam.

There isn't a birthday present better than that. Love you much Glasses. Talk to you tomorrow.

Birthday Blast Day 3 - GNO

I think I'm going to die.
I'm not sure if you've ever been in a fight before, but let me tell you. What it does to your body is not fun. I'm at work with perhaps 3 hours of sleep under my belt. My neck is killing me from the Psycho yanking on my head. My lower back isn't too happy with me either. And don't even get me started about my left hand. You know, the one used to sock the bitch? My wrist are sore from holding her, fingers stiff and my palm in bruised. Man oh man I'd hate to be that broads face.

My co-workers have no clue about my night life alter ego. I'm a manager of a pretty high volume clothing store. I also represent the new concept design for our company so I am often visited by merchants, vendors, and corporate execs. I've spoken to the VP's of our company, hosted walk thru's for investors. I am respected and adequately feared by my staff. Yet here I am walking around my store like Night of the Living dead sore from kicking a chicks ass the night before. Now I know what Peter Parker feels like.

I finally suffer through the rest of my day. I don't know how I made it. I had packed a bag in the morning to take with me to my girls house. Tonight is the scheduled GNO. I cruise down to Lakewood to meet up with her, first dropping her a quick line to make sure Huge Asshole isn't there. She was the one who had introduced me to him. Don't worry, she apologizes to me often. He is best friends with her husband. I've only been able to avoid him these last few months with their assistance. Its a constant game of cloak and dagger. Worth it. Don't want to see him. Don't want to know him.

The coast is clear. She lets me inside and I say hello to the masses. She lives in a huge house with her brother, his wife, kids, sister in laws sister, a cousin, a few dogs...you get the picture? She's looking super cute in a cut up ACDC shirt, jeans  and  a pair of wedges. They bring her height up to a whole 5'4.

She screams out some sort of profanities over to her husband. The girl curses like a sailor and her favorite pass time is berating her husband. They are a sight to see. She is a short Pacific Islander with cute dimples and a killer smile. Miss personality. Her husband? Tall not so attractive white boy. With glasses. That's all I have on him.

"What's up Flooger?" he greets me.

Floogar is a name he made up for me a few years ago when I had started dating Huge Asshole. Its a combination of Cougar and Floosie. This pretty sums up our relationship. We are sworn enemies.

"Nice belly." I reply back to him as I walk into their bedroom.

Dimples is sitting at the computer finishing some online shopping. She's as addicted as I am. I get to work changing. I'm exhausted out of my mind. I wash my face hoping that will wake me up. It helps. I reapply my make up. Dark smokey eyes. My night time look. I add on plenty of mascara and pop my hair up into my pony tail. Now what the hell did I bring to wear?

I was a smart cookie. I had threw in a few options. I decide on black jeggings, knee high leather boots, an oversized white tank with an 80's style womens face on the front with red lipstick and toss my black prostitute jacket on to. I throw on a pair of Dimples over sized turquoise circle earrings and I'm ready to rock

Her husband asks where we are going to head off to. "Out," I tell him.
"Shutup Floogar," he snaps back at me. I love our arguments.

They exchange goodbyes. She tells him we will meet up with him later. The Sweet Repose is playing at a house party later in Orange county so we plan on cruising by for the performance. For now, its off to Hollywood we go. I promised Uncle and G2 that I would stop by and hang for a drink. I promised Dimples that I would introduce her to my characters.

We make a quick pit stop at Starbucks. We buy some snacks and I grab a mocha energy drink. I need something to keep me from slamming into a wall. We get down to Hollywood in record time. I'm driving her seafoam green BMW so decide to valet. We pull up to the front and nod my head towards the front door.
"That's Partyboy," I tell her.

"He doesn't look that tall," she says. I love my friends. Hard to please, seldom impressed. Bitches. Like me.

We step out of the car and I hand over the keys. Partyboy see's me and yells over a hello.
I walk up, and he wraps me up into a hug. Interesting. His whole demeanor is different from the night before. This is a normal I dig you greeting. Strange.

I introduce him to Dimples. She shakes his hand and walks inside. "I think Glasses might come by tonight," he tells me.

"Yeah, I just spoke with him. They are on their way now."I tell him laughing to myself. I mean, did he really think I just came here on my own to hang? Your not that special dude.

The place is busy. I take Dimples around and introduce her to a few familiar faces. Douchebag is partying near the back bar. I'm too too excited to introduce her to the villain of my stories. He is decently sober so she is luckily able to avoid any groping from him.  After a few Glasses, G2 and Uncle all walk into the bar. I go over and give them hugs. Glasses looks uneasy. Dimples points it out to me.

"He looks sketchy." She says.

"Honestly, he is probably afraid Psycho girlfriend will show up." I say.

"I think its more then that. I think he is feeling bad about what happened to you."she tells me.

She's right. He orders us a drink, and I can see the guilt in his eyes as he hands it over to me. Whats worse everyone is talking about what happened again. Uncle just can't get over how calm and collected I was.

"Dude, don't worry about it. It's done. Let's have a good time and I'll keep a look out for her," I joke.

He looks a little easier. I see Partyboy looking at me from across the room. He is taking off his jacket and stashing it. He must be clocking out. Dimples and I have to leave soon. Normally this situation would bother me. I would want to hang with him. But after his strangeness last night, I'm good with bailing.

Dimples in engrossed in a conversation about Rockbands with Uncle. "Time to go," I tell her.

I walk over to Partyboy to say bye. He gives me a hug and quick kiss on the cheek.
"I hate these cheek kisses." I say.

"Sorry its just the work thing." he tells me.

"ok," I reply and walk back over to Dimples and Uncle. I get it. There is no way in hell I would give kisses out to anyone at work.

Dimples is still talking. Partyboy walks up to the three of us and plants a quick kiss on my mouth then walks back away. Cute. Unnecessary, but cute. Uncle looks at me and raises his eyebrows, "What was that all about?" he asks.

"Oh, we sort of date." I tell him.

"I didn't know that," he says looking confused.

His confusion is understandable. The night before Partyboy totally ignored me, which was made even more glaringly obvious by all the attention I received that night from everyone else. I mean during fight night, I was miss popularity. I was known at every venue. The second we had walked into the afterparty my name was being screamed out by the party goers. Uncle and G2 loved me and spent alot of time engaging me in conversation. But Partyboy? It was like we weren't even friends. My feelings from last night were validated. It was time to go.

"Are you coming back?" G2 asks me.

"I'll call you guys and see where your at after." I assure him

Dimples and I walk outside and I hand the valet ticket over. Partyboy comes out behind us. Funny. He walks over to me and asks where we are going.

"House party in Orange County. One of our friends bands are playing so we need to cruise over." I tell him nonchalantly.

I don't know what to think about this guy. I'm not enjoying the hot and cold attitude. I'm the kind of girl who always runs hot. Jump on board or get burned buddy.

Our car pulls up. He turns and gives me another kiss goodbye. Okaayyy.

I pull away without a backward glance. I'll break him down another time. For now, I have plans.

We arrive to the next venue. The party is at a large ranch style house in Westminster. I can hear the Sweet Repose playing from the street. We quickly duck inside and find a place against a wall to jam to our boys. The guys are rocking it out. I'm still exhausted out of my mind, but I'm so glad I came out tonight. I close my eyes and let the music spill over me. Man oh man I love me some music. I'll listen to pretty much anything as long as its live.

Dimples goes off to find her husband while I stay put to watch the band.

I hadn't heard from Creeper all day. I know he's not too happy with me for ditching out on him last night.
I shoot him a text. "Are we fighting?'

Nothing.

"Do I have to try the sexting thing again?" I try.

This one does the trick.
He responds, "You never started the sexting thing in the first place...."

Yes. Got him. This is like fishing. I got a bite.

"Because you said I would suck at it. You start." I text back.

"Not really feeling it. Sorry." he says.

Oh yeah. He's pissed. And I don't really care. I'm just not into this guy. Maybe its better I let this one go. I know he's a great character and all but I just can't bring myself to see him again. I wish I could keep him around as a kooky friend but I know he won't go for it. Besides the fact he wants to do me everytime he see's me, I'm pretty sure he thinks I am clinically insane. And I've done nothing but validate his feelings.

I think I do it on purpose. I was talking to my cousin this morning about the last blog I wrote. She reads everything I write and has a little following for me with her friends. She tells me they are "totally addicted" to WCC. Awesome.

Well this morning she called me a method actress. I thought this was funny as shit. Its so true. I acted for years. Now here I am treating the world like its my stage and boys like my little puppets.

This guy thinks I'm nuts and I've been flowing with it. That's who he wants and or expects me to be. He has been damaged by his "insane bitch" ex, as he put it. I remind him of her physically. So that's who I've been. Wow. I do it without even thinking. Every time I've gone to his house, I just sit there and look at him like he is a monkey in a cage. I mean he has no idea that I'm West Coast Carrie. He doesn't know that I just want to sit and stare so that I can accurately write this shit down later. I come across as a kook and I don't care.

Last night I started talking to a new character. I call him Highlander. His resemblance to Christopher Lambert is uncanny. Half Navajo and Persian. Hot hot hot. We were texting back and forth and right away I realize he is a sensitive dater guy. He kept asking me deep questions about my life and what I want out of a relationship. Well, we all know I don't want shit. I just want a good story for my readers. But I was feeding this guy everything I knew he wanted to hear. He wanted sensitive chick, I gave it to him. I was one step ahead of each of his questions and/or responses.

He kept saying, " wow, we are like a perfect match.....we balance eachother...."blah blah etc.

The last thing he text to me was, "I can c why men like to bring U home to meet their moms. There's something special about U!"

Sucker.

I decide not to text The Creeper back. I'm bored with him. I can't even bring myself to play off the crazy any longer.

Its late. I decide to leave just as the cops are pulling up. Good timing on my part. I say bye to Dimples. She is going to ride home with her husband, so  I head back to Hollywood. I give Glasses a quick call and tell him I'm just going to head home. Its late and I need to catch up on some sleep before my bbq at his house tomorrow. Plus I have to work again in the morning and I need to be atleast half way coherent.

A few moments later I get a phone call from G2. Oh lord please say he didn't leave anything else in my car.

"Where are you?," he yells.

" I'm heading home. Its late. I need to go to bed."

"Fine. Just bail. that's what you do. Whatever. Bailer." he tells me.

I'm so going to miss this guy.

"I'll see you guys tomorrow at the house. I'll be there for sure." I tell him

"Whatever. You know what? Your lucky your cool. If you were anyone else I would have hung up already but your cool..."he rants back.

They are all good and drunk again... and back at Thai Angels.

He continues to yell at me the rest of my ride home. The next day I make him promise he will call me atleast once a week and give me shit. This guy is fun.

I get home and hit the hay. I'm done

Day 3 is done. Not so bad. Tomorrows the bbq. I'm pretty sure Partyboy will be there. Good. There's a theory I want to test out. For now, the puppeteer needs to get some sleep.

WCC

Birthday Blast day 2 - Fight Night

So I got into a bar fight last night. Thats right, you heard me. I'm officially 33 years old and brawling like a common hoodlum. And to think my day had started off so nice.

I had a great birthday night. Went out with my friends, smooched a Beetle, came home and blogged for a bit. The next morning Pop a Squat called me to take me out to a birthday lunch.

"Where do you want to go?," she asks me.

"Hermosa Beach, where else?" I replied.

Its a gorgeous day in Southern California. The sun is out with a light breeze. I roll down to Hermosa and meet Pop a Sqaut at Hennesseys Tavern right on the beach. We are having a good time,drinking our Vanilla vodka Lemonade mixers, shooten the shit about my blog. Pop a Squat is my number one fan. We were talking WCC fan club when I get another text from Huge Asshole. The guy still hasn't given up from last night.

"ha ha you butthole. Teasy my kneesy. Yes it was an accident?' he texts.

Um, since I haven't responded to your stalker ass since yesterday I think its safe to say it was an accident dumbass. He texts again, "Can you just answer me straight please?"

God fine fine fine!

"Sorry. I called on accident last night. My phone has been on the frits."
There. I responded. Leave me alone now asshole...but its never that simple is it?

"Ok no worries. Sorry for bugging you it was just nice hearing something from you even though I was sure it was an accident. Take Care."

Do you see what he is doing here? First he's trying to be cutesy with the Teasy kneesy comment. Your not cute dude. Then he had to throw in how it was nice hearing from me...which I'm sure he's hoping would soften my heart enough to finally respond to him. Little does he know he turned me into a heartless bitch and I just don't give a shit.

I give no response so the inevitable follow up texts arrives. This one pissed me off. "How bout some belated bday lovin? Can't help but miss that, one thing we never got wrong."

Motherfucker. Now I'm upset. What world is this guy living in? The last conversation we had was a knock down drag out fight...

Long story short, we broke up months ago, but still were seeing each other for a while. Lines like these would have worked in the past because the boy was right. The sex was beyond amazing. We pushed each other to our limits. There are dozens of photos and Dear Lord Help Me, plenty of video of our escapades. We used to go for hours. I think our record was 5 times in a 6 hour time span? With no more then maybe a 20 minute break... Furniture has been broken, walls have been damaged. There were outfits...lots and lots of outfits. Hell yeah I know he misses that. And I probably would have continued it during our "breakup". Until he decided to tell me, after I slept with him on one occasion, that he was dating someone else.

I was furious. Dude, go ahead. Date someone else. But have the courtesy to tell me about it. He tried to say it wasn't necessary because we were broken up. He wasn't obligated to share.
Are you fucking kidding me? He knows that I would never touch him if I knew he was dating another broad. He tried to equate it to a time I had a boyfriend and had continued seeing him on the side.

"The difference is, I told you." I had said to him. "you had a choice."

The fight escalated and to this day I am still raw with the last words he said to me,
"You are a fragile excuse for a women."

Ouch. So not fucking true. But still. Ouch. Its not about there being any truth behind it, its more about the fact that he said it to me. On purpose. To hurt me. That's the day I officially cut him out of my life. I told him to leave me alone, forever.

Well forever isn't what it used to be.

I respond to his text,"Wow, your un fucking believable. Go use someone else. I don't want to know you let alone touch you. Stop texting. I don't need to be hurt or insulted by you anymore."

Pop a Squat gives her nod of approval. He responds within seconds, "Yeah you're right, guess that was pretty low. My apologies."

Sigh, he is so young and stupid. Honestly he isn't a bad guy. He's just an insecure idiot. One that I don't want to know. I'm satisfied with his response and I let it go. I made him feel like a dirty jerk, and I'm happy. I know he has been dying to talk to me, and he is kicking himself for ruining his chances to know me again.

Good. I hope he suffers.

I return to my lunch, when bachelor number 2 texts me. And you'll never believe who it is. The Creeper.
That's right Fans, the final chapter has been reopened and The Creeper is back.

Creeper. "Happy birthday. :)"

I'm elated. He has left me an opening. I decide to test how far I can push it.

Me, " No smiley faces after meanness. those are the rules."

Creeper, " I wasn't being mean. I was being honest. I hope you are having an awesome bday"

The change of heart is random to say the least. I'm happy that I didn't send him a kiss off message with the WCC stamp of approval. I should have known this guy would roll back around. They always do.

Me, " You were being over sensitive. Which is surprising. All your convos with me have to do with fooling around. That's ok generally speaking, but your not the only one who had issues with the way things went. I found u interesting. Too bad u were only interested in one thing."

At this point Pop a Squat is practically bouncing with excitement. She is enjoying watching the story unfold right in front of her instead of having to wait for my blog.

Creeper, "stop texting me then creeper"

Here we go again. Is he being sarcastic or oversensitive? I decide to respond somewhere in the middle,
"lol.god ur a nut. Kk."

Creeper, "yeah I really loved jerking myself off after I made you cum...That's something that I definitely look for. I don't even want to hook up with anyone. I just want to find someone awesome. Sorry we were attracted to each other and that's what happened"

Funny. Creeper thinks I'm attracted to him.

"I don't have regrets in life..."(he continues)" And I don't like to group people or put people in boxes so even for a second try to say like I know what you're all about like you do...It's ignorant...And unfortunately you'll make me enforce my own stereo type anyway...Telling me all I want to do is hook up. It's hilarious that you think I'm a nut. You've outcrazied me by a longshot and if you don't know that by now you're mildly delusional."

Well I can't argue with the last part. Man oh man, Creeper was going off. He is such a freaking girl.

I debate what to do next. This guy is Mr. Sensitive relationship guy. I'm at a crossroads. I can choose to blow him off, or get him back. The 'daytime' me wants to leave the guy alone. I feel bad. I know I'll hurt him if I continue to drag this out.  Then there is West Coast Carrie. She wants to engage. She wants to come up with some shit because the man is ripe for the pickins...One line from me and I know I can bring him back to my side.

I throw the decision to Pop a squat.

"What should I do? I'm torn dude. Between who I am and the writer in me. Me or WCC?" I ask her.

She takes a moment then begins to laugh, "look, I have to be honest. I really don't care that much about you anymore. I love Carrie. Get the Creeper back!"

Psycho fan. But she's right. I really should give the readers what they want. I take a moment to gather my thoughts then shoot this out to him, "I joke and am sarcastic. I was just being honest too. That's the impression I got. You and I have communication issues man. I assumed, and so did you and we didn't get the chance to be proven wrong. Alright. This is pointless. Looks like its too late for starting over."

I swear this feels like we are in a freaking relationship. Too funny. This is fun. I'm going to hell.

Creeper, "I say make out party is in order. No biting though!!'

She shoots, she scores!!

Me, "lol...isn't that where the miscommunication started?"

Then the Creeper got real. Did I mention that he's a girl?

"You want honesty here it goes. I have a date tonight with a very pretty girl (she's brown too) and for realz I only took the date because she kinda reminded me of you...And you're still in my phone as "the brown girl" and I really don't want a second soooo"

Now I'm feeling like an asshole. I don't want a boyfriend. I don't want the pressure of telling this guy to blow off his date for me. I don't want to mess up this guys chance to have a relationship with a girl who might actually be into him. I look up at Pop a Squat to ask her what she thinks I should do. But one look at the happy little giddy grin on her face and I know the answer. Screw it. It's too late to stop this train now...

Me, "Ok. Well here's me being honest. I'd like to get to know you better..besides texting and drunken hook ups..I don't want you to have to call off your date when u and i are still getting to know each other. I would love to hang tonight for my bday but..ugh. bad timing."

There. Its done. I left it in his hands. Ok thats bullshit. I know this little message will do the trick. I'm a writer. I know what will motivate people.

Creeper, "We should soberly hook up then. So you don't have excuses. Or just hang out and get high and cuddle."

Oh god. The man wants to cuddle.

Me, "Lol. Maybe we can throw in some talking too...just tell me when."

Damn I'm good at this sensitive shit.

"6:30ish hit it and quit it?" he texts.

And he wonders why I call him Creeper?

So back to Creeperland I go. Damn you reader...

 I arrived at his apartment at around 7pm.  Creeper comes walking up in cut off sweats capri style and a tshirt. Guess I wasn't worth getting dolled up for. I'm already over this.

He gives me a hug and leads the way back to the garage. The scene is completely different then the first time I had visited here. Same room, except its now spotlessly clean. I guess he dolled something up. Music is playing from his labtop and I swear I smell something scented in the room.

Its nice to see him sober. I could still see those wheels turning, except this time minus the squeeking.
We sit and chit chatted for a bit. He had told me that he had an audition earlier that day so I asked him how it went.

"Well, I walked in, read the script and walked back out," he tells me.

"Really? Why? Bad script?," I ask.

"It wasn't that, I just can't figure out why my agent sent me out on it. I mean, its for this commercial where I would have to be walking around in my underwear the whole time."

Lmao!! How amazing would it be for me to be able to point out to my friends The Creeper in his tighty whiteys on TV? Damn he should have auditioned.

This is actually kind of nice. We are talking, he is sober (you know, besides the 3 bong hits he took when I walked in) and coherent. Maybe I can do this? Maybe there is something redeemable about this guy?

"I feel like there is a barrier between us right now.."he tells me.

"Barrier? Why? You afraid to touch me now?," I ask him laughing.

He looks at me intently and says, "Your right. We are starting over. Now let me think first. How did I break though the first time? Oh thats right, I just jumped in."

The Creeper grabs me and pulls me towards him on the bed. I'm more then a little hesitant. I'm not sure if its going to be as weird as it was the first time.

It is.
He wraps me in his arms and starts to press his face into my neck again. His breathing is instantly heavy.
"Are you sniffing me?" I ask him.

"No. Just breathing," he replies from the inside of my neck.

Well thats some pretty loud breathing buddy.
He moves in to kiss me. Not as bad as the first time. He still has this weird thing about my upper lip but I don't feel like we are fighting to claim ownership of it like before. Then he tries to grab for no mans land. I move his hand away.

"Really? Why?" he asks me.

"I just don't want to", I tell him. And I mean it. He is touching me, and kissing me but I'm just not feeling it. The first time around I think I was so busy tripping out on his strangeness that I didn't really pay attention to what I was feeling. I was to interested in seeing what the weirdo would do next. Well this time around I already know what the weirdo wants to do, and I'm not feeling it.

I'm not attracted to this guy. He is good looking and witty and so not my type. No chemistry. No butterflies. No mystery or interest for me.  It happened. I'm done with the Creeper. Time to clock the fuck out.

"Well thats stupid. Why wouldn't you want to let me make you feel good? On your birthday?"he says trying to convince me to let him defile me.

"I just don't. I want to just hang with you. Watch your wheels turn."I tell him.

"See. Your going backwards. Why pretend like we haven't already done this before? I mean I don't want to sit here and just makeout. I don't want to be teased. I'd rather do nothing then."

"Ok" I reply.

He grabs the pillow and places it over his face. I wonder if I can walk out the door without him noticing?
Aw, forget it.  I'm curious what Creeper will do if he can't touch me. I'll stay a bit longer. See what happens.

He pulls the pillow from his face and says excitedly, "wanna see me do a head stand?"

I totally made the right choice to stay.

"sure do." I reply.

Creeper gets up and pushes his 6'2 ass into the air and does a full on head stand. I whipped out my cell phone and snapped a pic. This is awesome.

It's time to go. Creeper has friends waiting on him and I need to continue on to the next scene.
I get up and gather myself.
"Next time you come by, could you make yourself look just a little less touchable please, " he says to me.

One, who said there will be a next time? And two, no way jose. That's the basis of my entire wardrobe.

Creeper walks me out to my car. I wonder if he is going to kiss me goodbye. I hope not. Like I said, zero chemistry. I'm over it.

He doesn't. He wraps me into a hug then reaches down and gives the side of my hip, pre ass, a little squeeze. I'm leaving this guy more then a little frustrated.

I get in and drive away. Yeah. Done. But totally worth going back one last time. He is still funny as shit.

I roll out to the next scene. I am meeting Glass's at his house in the Hills for a preparty drink. He opens up the door and tells me, "Your in for a special treat."

After what I just left I'm a little weary about this line.

"My twin brother and uncle are in town. They are going to be rolling out with us tonight."

Sounds good to me. I'm the more the merrier kind of girl.
Glasses and I chit chat for a bit.  A few drinks in and we are talking about exes. We both seem to think that ours are nuttier then the others. Later on that night, he almost wins.

His fam bam finally shows. His twin walks in, Glasses2. Same face, similar smiles, slightly beefier and definitely more reserved. No, not reserved. I think he is just more of a 'cool guy'. Used to working the whole aloof vibe. I recognize it. Its my own normal state of being.

The uncle is well, Uncle. On the younger side...mid 40's maybe. He is wearing the classic v-neck going out to party with the boys sweater. The crew has been collected and we are ready to go. Until we get a call from Douche Bag. He wants a ride. Great. I call shot gun.

We cruise down and pick him up before heading to the bar near Homeless boyfriends house where Partyboy works. He is working the door as usual. He gives me a quick squeeze and we all head inside.

The place is jumpin. We all snag a drink and I start bonding with the fam bam. We are a few drinks in when Glasses comes over to me with a distraught look on his face.

"dude, whats wrong?," I ask concerned.

"my ex is here," he tells me.

"What?! Where?"

"The loud one. Over there," he nods his head in the general direction of a girl just a little off to my left. She is wearing a last season BCBG dress and black wedges. Tacky. She is attractive tho. Brown like me, dark hair, red lipstick. She is pretty drunk and obnoxiously loud. Funny. Guess opposites do attract.

I look back at Glasses. The look on his face is heartbreaking. I put my arms around his neck and pull him closer to me, "wow dude. Your still in this aren't you?" I tell him.

Just then Pyscho girlfriend walks over and screeches in our ears, "This conversation looks way to deep for Glasses"

Jesus this girl is loud. And thats saying alot coming from me.

"Nothing deep. Just talking." I tell her calmly.

"I bet thats not the only thing he's giving you deep." she screeches back in what I'm assuming is her nonchalant party voice.

Huh? Who the fuck says something like that? About their man and another chick? In front of the two of them? Here I am looking at Glasses who is crumbling in his spot. The love and pain he still feels for her is written all over him. It blows my mind this broad can't see it. She doesn't deserve him.

Instead of responding I look at her like she's an idiot. I used to be a theater actress. I have the, what the hell did you just say, that was totally disgusting, face down to a science.

The look works. I see her party girl having a good time, facade crack and the, she just made me feel so stupid right now, look spread across her face. I let go of Glasses and he walks away. Damn. How bad does this suck for him?

Uncle comes over and gives me a 'wow' look. Tell me about it.

Street Artist comes into the bar and sits next to me. He tells me that they are heading out to an after party in a few. Cool, text me the address I tell him. As he turns to do just that I get a text from The Kid.

"Happy Birthday! How's everything going?...You prepared for next weekend?," aw, I love him. Ok, maybe I don't love him but I strongly like this guy. When he's around that is.

Psycho Girlfriend comes back over and pops my feel good misty bubble.
"whats going on between you and Glasses?" she asks me. She's taken her screech down an octave or two, trying to intimidate me I assume. My ears appreciate the reprieve.

I look up at her over my phone. I debate on not answering her and going back to my happy feel good texts. I look down for a moment to do just that, but sigh. She's still standing there.

"What do you mean?," I ask her, seriously disinterested.

"What's going on between you and Glasses," she repeats. Don't you hate it when you ask someone for clarification and instead of giving it to you they ask the same retarded question again?

"What do you mean?," I ask her again," are me and him fighting or something?"

I know I shouldn't be fucking with her. The girl is seriously upset. This is obviously a big deal to her. I just can't seem to bring myself to care. None of this is interesting to me. Its silly and petty and so totally predictable. I hang out with freaks and creatives to see new shit, not this. I'm not drunk enough to relate.

Just then Glasses comes over and pulls her away. I hear him telling her that we are just friends or something. I let them leave without a backward glance. Instead I go back to my phone and text The Kid back. I want to see what time his flight lands on Friday so that I can start to plan.

The evening pretty much continues like that. I'm sitting there socializing with my friends and texting occasionally to my boo, and psycho girlfriend is hating on me every chance she gets. Every now and then she walks by me and throws out insults, "Whore....bitch....whore." that's about it. Like I said. Not very creative.

I shrug it all off. Hell I don't even shrug. I have no investment in any of this. Let her have her drama. I'm having a good time just being me.

We all decide to head out. Partyboy is off work and we all want to head to Thai Angels restaurant for some more drinks and food. Psycho girlfriend is now beyond plastered. Glasses parks her car and pulls her out to roll with us. Great.

Uncle comes over to me and says, "She is so going to go after you at some point tonight."

"I know," I tell him, "I'm waiting for it."

I didn't have to wait long.

We all walk over to Glasses car. Partyboy is gathering his things so we pause to wait for him. She is standing a few feet in front of me snapping her gum. She turns around and says to me, "Will you stop snapping your gum so fucking loud, oh my god that's obnoxious!"

I look back at her, my face purposely blank. She looks away not knowing where to take this. Uncle laughs and says to me, "Are you even chewing gum?"

"Nope," I say, and we both giggle.

I walk towards the car. Best to get some space between the two of us.
I hear her screeching at Glasses,"That White bitch is not going with us!"

Uncle and I laugh, "I thought I was Mexican?" I say.
"Guess not," Uncle chuckles back.

"Please stop," Glasses is telling her. "She's just a friend."

But Psycho girlfriend has had enough. She has spent hours trying to antagonize me into an argument. Impossible. So she gives up and decides to take matters into her own hands.
She comes running across the street at me. Now I suppose a normal person would have ran away. Maybe yelled out. I didn't even bother dropping my purse. This ain't my first Rodeo.

I'm rocking a low side ponytail. She grabs at it and pulls. I don't react at first. I don't want to fight this girl. I don't care enough. I already knew she was going to come after me so I'm not upset that its happened. I just don't want t hurt her. I'm not a fighter and I definitely don't feel like fighting over something I have no investment in. The guys all run over to pull her off of me. But they take too long, and she gives my hair another hard yank. Ok. Now I'm in this.

I reach out and grab the back of her hair and in one swift movement shove her head down so that she is bent over in front of me. I tell her, "you don't want to fuck with me." She looses her grip and lets me go. Good. I hold her down there as the guys finally gather around and try to pull her away from me. Thats when she reaches out and grabs my dress. Now she's pissing me off. I'll be damned if she turns this into some half naked drunken girlfight. I make fun of those bitches.  This is not going to happen.

I still have her bent over in front of me. I squeeze her hair a little harder and swing my left fist into her face. This should do the trick, but would you believe this drunk bitch is so gone it doesn't even phase her?

"We have her, let go Carrie," one of the guys tell me.

"Are you sure? You have her?" I ask back. I swear its like we are all trying to calm down a wild dog.

"yes yes we have her."

I loosen my grip and only let go when I feel them pulling her away. Party boy grabs me and pulls me to the side.

"Are you ok?" he asks.

"Yes I'm fine. You can go help them." I tell him.

Over to our right Psycho Girlfriend is going nuts. She is screaming and kicking at everyone. Partyboy runs over to help. Uncle comes over to me for comfort.

"you alright?" he asks me again. I tell him I'm fine. "Wow, your something else. Your just cool as a cucumber."

Guess I am. Like I said. This isn't my first Rodeo. On a scale from 1 to Crazy this barely rates a 2.
Just then Partyboy gets nailed in the balls. Ouch. This is bad. I can't watch anymore. I look away and fix my hair. Not much is out of place. She's lucky I wasn't wearing pants. I had plans for her and the side of the car behind me.

The guys are now trying to toss Psycho girlfriend into a cab. She's not having it.
"I got to go," I tell uncle.

"No, stay. Its ok. I'll make sure she doesn't come near you again," he pleads with me.

But I want to bail. My presence is causing way too much drama. Remove me from the equation and all your left with is a loud obnoxious girlfriend instead of the wild frothing at the mouth animal that's kicking and screaming at everyone in her sale rack BCBG dress that's in front of us now.

Damn I should have brought my car. I never not have my car. And this is the reason why. When I want to bail I don't want to have to rely on anyone.

"No, really. I'm gonna bail. I'll see if I can get a ride from someone in the bar."

Glasses2 walks up to us. And starts pleading with me along side Uncle, "No, seriously stay."

Ugh. Fine. Glasses is obviously out for the count tonight. I'll stay and play hostess. These poor guys look traumatized. I need to fix this since it looks like no one else can figure out how.

"Ok, I'll stay." they look relieved, "but I need to get my car. Go tell Glasses that I'll drive his car back and he needs to drive with her."

I know once I leave Glasses will be able to calm her down and drive with her in her car. Uncle runs off to grab the keys and in a few we are all pile in the car together gossiping about what just happened.

I drive to Glasses and finally get my car. We all split up and take both cars to the Thai Angels. We go inside and G2 orders shots all around. I take on gladly. PartyBoy orders some food and I split it with him. Things are slowly starting to feel normal again. I text Glasses. "Where you at? Everything ok?"

His responds, "heading to Thai's now."

"Alone?" I ask.

"No. coming with crazy. Im so sorry."

He's got to be kidding me? I want to go. I've already hit up Street Artist and told him I'd be meeting him at the house party soon. The crew makes me wait. I'm not sure if they are trying to make me feel better or if they are just holding onto the only sane person left in the group like I'm a life vest.

Glasses shows up. Psycho girlfriend stays in the car. We all decide to roll over to the party together. Via 3 cars. We split up. G2 is with me along with Douchebag and uncle. Partyboy takes Glasses car and Glasses is following behind with Psycho girlfriend. Its another freak parade.

I try to lighten the mood. I pop in my Brittany cd and me and G2 start grooving to the music. One good thing has come out of this experience. I've bonded with the fam bam. Trauma does that.

We get to the house party before Glasses pulls up. I make sure to make my way quickly into the party. I walk up alone. Up to this point I haven't spoken much to Partyboy. He's been strange all night. I have my suspicions about why, but for tonight I don't think much about it. Contrary to what everyone is probably thinking I'm still having a pretty good time.

I walk into the backyard and hear a group of half naked drunks screaming my name from the hot tub on the porch. Its a few members of the hipster crew. I love my friends.

"Carrie! Get in Get in!" They are chanting.
I laugh. You wish. I snap a few photos of them in their skivvies. There is a half naked girl in the tub with them. I think I'll sit this one out.

Just then I get a text from The Creeper, "So are you coming back over tonight?"

"Was i supposed to?" I respond. Lord oh lord this is a strange evening.

Creeper, "Make out party?" Followed by, "Mutual masturbation?? And then we go out and hold hands in public like you want"

"Lies!" I respond. This is fun. Maybe I will cruise over. Its been a long night and Psycho Girlfriend is still lurching about and Partyboy has some sort of stick up his ass so I might as well go kick it with the weirdo I know.

"How about a trade, " he texts, "Safe handjobs tonight...And god I'll go do karaoke with you soon. And I HATE karaoke."

I laugh. He knows I love karaoke. The offer is tempting.

"Maybe...what are you going to sing?" I ask him, totally ignoring the chaos around me. The guys are still yelling over for me to get in the tub. Partyboy is desperately trying to find a bottle opener for some wine he found...G2 is getting his groove on in the house and Glasses is with Psycho girlfriend in the living room. She appears to have calmed down a bit. Whatever. I'm in Creeperland right now. i turn back to my texting.

"Maybe...what are you going to sing?"

Creeper, "Anything you want. Just stop teasing me."

Ha. Now there's something I don't know how to do.

Me, "Its who I am. Bad habit."

Creeper, "Are you cummingggg over or not?"

Ew. I'm over it again. Now I just want to screw around with him.

"I don't have my car. I'll let you know when I do and I'll come right over." not.

He texts me over the next hour,
"Come here"
"hurry"
"come overrrrr"
Then finally, "I'm going to sleep now. Talk to you soon."

Whatever. Creeper is getting boring.

The hipsters finally get out of the hot tub and after getting dressed start to argue over who's underwear's are who's. They finally just decided to leave them both. So if you've ever wondered why or how you found mens undergarments in your yard after a party, there you go. Mystery solved.

"Can you give us a ride?" Street Artist asks me.
"Sure can, lets go." I tel him.

I'm done. I'm tired and too sober to continue partying till the sun rises. I go inside and pass out hugs and promises to hang the next day with everyone. I'm careful to avoid Glasses and PG.

"Let's go," I tell the boys.

Partyboy walks out with us. His bag is in my car.
"I'll call you later on," he tells me.

I don't reply and give him a quick kiss.

I drive the boys home. Its on they way to my house and I barely need to slow down to drop them off. I tell them about the fight. They find it hilarious. And honestly, so do I.

Once I saw them off I finally started making my way home. I'm about  four blocks away when I get a call from G2.

"Where are you?" he asks.

"Almost home, why? Is everything ok?"

"I left my camera in your car." he tells me.

Damn. I pull over and start to look for it under his drunken phone guidance. My car is a mess. Not for any particular reason. Its just the way I roll. I start dumping trash onto the side of the street. I'm bent over ass in air on the side of Crescent Heights trying to find what I'm starting to believe is an imaginary camera.

"I don't see it." I tell him.

"It has to be there. Come back. Please? I have to find it."

Damn. Seriously? I finally escaped. And he wants me to go back?
He continues to plead with me. He is convinced that its in my car. So much so that he is starting to make me believe it. I decide to go back. I'll feel like the biggest asshole if I wake up tomorrow to find the camera pressed in between the car seats.

"Good, I'll be waiting outside on the curb for you. Hurry."

No pressure. Back up to the hill I drive. This night is so never going to end.
I pull up the street and sure enough there he is, sitting on the side of the road. We start to dig thru my car together. Its not there.

"Maybe I left it at the restaurant." he says.

I pull out my phone and try to call. I can't find the correct number online.

"We just need to drive there," he says.

Whatever. Lets roll. I've come this far.

I call up Partyboy for directions. He answers and tell him to come out front.

He walks out with the whole crew. Next thing I know Uncle, Partyboy and Douchbag are all back in my car. I'm not sure how it happened but the night has somehow started over agian.

We caravan back to Thai Angels. Uncle starts talking about how cool I am again.
"Yeah, she's a trooper," Partyboy says from the backseat, rubbing my shoulders.

Yeah. Nothing. Time to go home. I start plotting my escape. I'm going to drop them all off, make sure G2 finds his camera and the drive away into the sunset.

We get back to Thai Angels and I call up G2 who has already entered the joint.

"Did you find it?" I ask when he picks up.

I see him walk out of the restaurant and with the phone still to his ear he says, "yes maam!"

I'm so irrationally excited! We both snap our phones shut and I run over to him. He grabs me from beneath my bottom and lifts me into the air. We are spinning around and screaming excitedly like a couple of geeks. Its sooo time for me to go to bed. I'm officially delirious.

I turn to uncle and give him a hug goodbye. I pull away and for one awkward moment he pauses. I know these moments. The tiniest sigh from me, if just one strand of hair moves, and he'll go in for a kiss. I hold my ground and the moment passes. He's drunk so I let it slide.

I give G2 a hug and I see Partyboy walking into the restaurant. Oh well, I'll text him. I need to bail while I can.

Finally I make it home without another call from anyone. I go to take off my ring. Damn. I had this on when I hit her. Its a huge piece of costume jewelery. about the size of a marble and dammit that bitches face cracked it! Now I'm pissed.

In bed by 6am. My birthday bash day 2 has finally come to an end. Tomorrow starts day 3.

I'm pretty sure this year is going to kill me.

WCC

Birthday Blast

There's seriously something wrong with me.

You see, I have this problem when it comes to screwing around with lead singers of my favorite bands. It's not that I'm always attracted to them. I think it has more to do with wanting them to be attracted to me. I guess I really am an attention whore after all. I've become a master at bringing the attention back to me and away from the stage. The way I see it what better way to do that then to make the lead singer stop and take notice right? It's even better if I can do it during their performance. I've had many a lead singer croon in my direction during a set. I get off on that shit...


I received dozens of phone calls the day of my birthday. Everyone was so sweet! I think I had around 25 Facebook messages. I was definitely feeling the love.  I guess I may have exaggerated my Los Angeles loneliness. My LA Fam Bam is much larger than I had realized.

Hippie Chick had read the blog I posted the night before so immediately set into action to make my birthday great. She is such an amazing person. The eternal optimist. Its all peace love and rockin good times with that girl.

One of Homeless Boyfriends favorite singers was playing at the Roxy. She invited me to join them for dinner at the Rainbow Room, followed by the concert afterwards. I was in!

I had a grueling day at work. 10 hours of birthday downers. I finally bailed out at 6pm. Traffic was a bitch! It took me almost an hour to get home. I called Hippie Chick the second I got home. She told me Homeless boyfriend was already at the Roxy filming some interviews for his Reality show pilot, and that she was headed home to change. The plan was to meet at the Rainbow Room for dinner by 7:30 pm.

That meant I only had 30 minutes to get ready! On my birthday? A statistical impossibility.... that I somehow made happen sucka!! Not only was I ready but I actually looked pretty damn cute if I do say so myself.

I'm the queen of discount shopping and had just picked up some random pieces a few days before. I wore a black and grey striped fitted tank dress ($15). It went down to my mid calf breakfast club style. I slipped on a pair of black suede ankle boots ($49) and threw my hair up into my trademark pony tail. I just needed a jacket. That's when I remembered the prostitute jacket my ex boyfriend, Nutty as a Fruitcake, had snatched for me while working one night. Not that he was a prostitute. He was just a body gaurd for them. Ok, I shouldn't say prostitute. They like to call themselves High end Escorts.

Whatever, a whores a whore and this particular whore had good taste. She had left the jacket behind in his car and instead of giving it back he had lifted it and gave it to me. Don't worry. I had it dry cleaned....twice.

Super cute, thin shiny oversized bomber jacket (free). Looks really similar to my Members Only Jacket. I threw on a couple of black cocktail rings ($10) and my $74 slammin birthday outfit was complete! (Priceless)

I met up with Hippie Chick at HB's apartment in West Hollywood and we cruised over to the Rainbow Room together. Our crew was sitting out on the patio when we arrived. I recognized a few faces. HC introduced two of the newbies as members of the Reality show crew. The third she hardly had to tell me. You can always tell when there's a rockstar at the table.

He was rockin that Beatles hippie hair from back in the sixties. Black blazer, fitted jeans and classic flat beetles ankle boots.  He had a thin smudge of black eye liner around his eyes that helped complete his, 'I'm not just a normal guy', look. Amusing. Oh, I almost forgot the best part. He was from England and had an amazing educated English accent. That kicked it up a notch. We'll just call this guy Ringo.

Dinner was fun. Everyone drank to my birthday and I received a quick bday phone call from The Kid. Eight more days until his arrival. I can't wait!

It was nearing time to go. We paid out the bill and popped on over to the Roxy. It was my first time there. The place is slammin! High ceilings, black walls, large stage with great lighting. We headed over to the bar for one more birthday shot to me.

"Check out Ringo on stage," Hippie Chick says in my ear.

Ringo had told us that he had a great outfit picked out for the night. That was an understatement. I looked over at the stage and saw the hazy red glow of the stage lights bouncing off of an oversized fur jacket. The coat almost completely swallowed him. He had traded his tight black jeans for tight white ones. He was still wearing his great boots. On top of his head was an oversized fedora. Rock on man, Rock on.

We headed for the stage. I loved his set. Great voice, great band. It was a total flash back man. So my vibe. Half way through his performance he ripped off the fur to reveal a sheer black embellished shirt. I'm not sure if his pants were extra low or if the shirt was extra short, either way he was rockin the exposed bellybutton look. I turned to see Street Artist, one of the hipster crew lifting his shirt up just a bit and securing it into a knot behind his back. Huh, look at that. Ringo started a male crop top craze.

Once he was done we screamed out our appreciations and headed back to the bar for some refills.
The Street Artist bumps up next to me and we start to chit chat. He's another super likable guy. He gives me the same vibe that Glasses does. I looked down at his hands and asked about the black paint between his nails.

"Spray paint," he responds."I'm an artist."

Very cool.

"Dude, give me cross streets, I will so go and check out your stuff."

One thing led to the other and I started talking about WCC with him. He's a trusted and I wanted to share.


"So let me ask you something," he says. "If you actually do meet someone you really like will you get into a relationship with them or will you just continue dating because of your blog?"

"There's no chance of me getting into a relationship," I tell him. "I had two choices, either not date at all or this. This is an outlet for me. My heart was broken. I have nothing to give someone right now. I'm numb. So I'm diving into my artistry."

"Oh, was it over Nutty as a Fruit Cake?" he asks.

I laugh. There is no part of me that misses that relationship. For one, besides Nutty being an escort body guard, he also is an underwear model/body builder/actor/trans dj/illegal underground cage fighter. And I'm about 99% sure he has split personality disorder. No Bullshit. I don't know where I find this guys. LA dating can be a son of a bitch. I'm totally over that breakup.

"No," I tell him." Someone else. It was bad. But I'm good."

"But if you did, would you?" he asks again.

"Yeah, I guess so. What you need to understand is that WCC isn't me. She's my inner monologue. She's the shit we all think about but would never say out loud or act upon. She's one dimensional. She's only a small part of who I am."

Satisfied with my response he nods his head and takes out his phone to jot down my blog sight.

Just then Ringo comes walking up to the bar to join us. He has changed back into his blazer, this time shirtless and wearing what appears to be an ascot. Ok, now I'm slightly attracted.


"Awesome," I tell him." ...changed my life man...changed my life."

He laughs and thanks me for the compliment. It doesn't escape my notice that he plants himself next to me at the bar.

The next act takes the stage. Its none other then Nikka Costa. She looks amazing! Platform heels, leather pants, and a one shoulder sequence top. One side is long sleeved with sequined fringes hanging down the arm.

"I totally want her shirt," Hippy Chick mumbles in awe. Gotta love Hippie Chicks style man. There's nothing she loves more than finding a one of a kind  bedazzled vintage piece of clothing. She once told me that her goal in life was to have a Golden Girls wardrobe.

A few of the guys in our crew call me over. "Hey Carrie, be a good wingman and ask those girls if they want to come over and dance with us."

I look around the corner and see 5 girls standing in the lobby. Just standing. What the hell, they look like they could use some fun. I walk over to one and ask her what she's doing. Shouldn't she be partying it up inside?

She looks down her nose at me and replies in a monotone voice, "We're waiting for our friend to get in."

Ok. Boring.

Ringo's girlfriend walks up to Boring girl. Hippie Chick had pointed her out to me earlier. Apparently she was a singer too. Ringo was trying to help her become something. The only problem was she apparently sucked ass.

Ringo joins us. I tell him, "I didn't know these guys were your friends. I was trying to be a good wingman and introduce them to the boys."

"Whats a wingman?" he asks me with his cute accent.

"A wingman is a friend who will help you meet people of the opposite sex that you are interested in. They will engage them in conversation for you or entertain their ugly friends while you get your groove on," I explain.

"I don't think I would like to be a wingman," he says. "It sounds like to much work."

I laugh and lean in to where is girlfriend is standing looking bored.

"I was just explaining what a wingman is to Ringo," I tell her.

She nods her head and looks away disinterested. Bitch. Now your on my badside.

HC pulls me back to the bar.


"So what did you think of his girlfriend?" she asks.

"Dude. Zero personality. Whats her deal?"

"She just thinks she's the shit. And so do her friends," she tells me.

I look down at my phone and notice a missed call from Glasses. He was supposed to meet up with us but we hadn't heard from him in a few hours. Hippie Chick and I head to the bathroom so that I can give him a call back. For some reason I decide to look down at my phone on the third ring only to realize I was calling the wrong person. My phone had just dialed Huge Asshole!

Oh god. No. What the hell did I do?!

I quickly hang up. Within seconds he calls me back. I haven't spoken to him in almost 2 months. There is not one ounce of me that wants to speak with him now. I let it go to voicemail.

He leaves a message, "Hey, I'm pretty sure you dialed me by accident. Well either way, Happy birthday."

Ugh. I hated hearing is voice. No matter how much I want to hate him, the love is unfortunately still there. God no. I can't do this. Not on my birthday dammit!

Then he text., "Accident?"

I don't respond. I don't trust myself. I tell Hippie Chick what I did. She gasps.

"Don't respond!" She says.

"I'm not. But now I know he won't leave me alone. He probably thinks I want to speak to him now," I say panicked. "Let's go back to the bar I need a drink."

One more shot later, and I'm feeling better. I hardly notice the next few texts from him...

"Guess so...Nothing?...No bday hug?"

The last text pisses me off. I'm happy your over the asshole things you did and said the last we spoke but I'm not. There will be no hugs dick.

Homeless Boyfriend and HC are sitting near the front door. I join them. We start to talk about Ringo's girl and her crew again.

"You know what, " I say, feeling particularly bold at the moment." Normally I would be respectful but she kind of pissed me off...I'm gonna go play..."

They laughed as I pranced away like the Grinch sneaking off to steal presents.

I found him at the bar right where I had left him. Nikka was still working it out on the stage so we all started to dance at the bar. Ringo is bumping me occasionally and makes sure that he stays close.

The night is starting to come to an end. We all head outside for our final goodbyes. Ringo is parked outfront so I ask if I can sit on his hood. He tells me to go ahead and than plops right down next to me. This is so in the bag.

The crowd from inside begins to spill out of the club. A few are stopping to share how amazing they thought Ringos performance was with him. He and I exchange giggles and shit talking about each of them. It's a good time. We are bonding over our mutual distaste for bullshiters. Remember the rules dear reader. Don't be a groupie. I mean, why be a groupie when you can be a bro?

Hugs begin to be distributed. Its time to go. I pass out my hugs in strategic order, ensuring that Ringo and I finish at the same time. Leaving the last embrace for us. My crew had already started walking away. They must not know me. Never turn your back while I'm alone with a Rocker man. I can't be trusted.

I walk over and he wraps his arms around me, pausing to give me an overly extended kiss on the cheek. We give each other a squeeze and I pull away about an arms length. Just enough to make sure my re entry is noticeable. I look him in the eye, and with a half smile I go back in for his lips. No, I didn't mack him down. Just a full mouthed kiss. I made it just long enough to make him want more. As soon as I pulled away I turned around and waved behind my back, "bye!".

Done. I've marked my territory. I've trained my homing pigeon. I've peed on his leg and he knows he belongs to me. I look forward to running into him again.

I drive home and give PartyBoy a call. It's late and he should be back from his trip. I had called him earlier that day, super impressed that he answered. Guess his girl was in the other room. Bold move. And it shows that he must like me because I sure as hell wouldn't have answered him.

He is stuck somewhere in Santa Monica with some friends. Boo. I get another text from Huge Asshole. Arg! I'm a little buzzed and alone and he keeps calling me. Why oh why didn't I just make out with Ringo? I swear never a man around when you need them.

To distract myself I turned on my computer and began to write. That helped. After half an hour of that I finally went to sleep.

All in all it was a pretty damn good birthday. And its only the beginning. Day 2 begins tomorrow. I think I've finally reached the age where I can have a birthday weekend. And I do....I'll tell you about it in the morning...oh wait it is morning. Another long party night on the Westside...

WCC