Cravings

Man its freezing ass in my house tonight...

For the first time in a long while I'm home at a decent hour. I played it mellow last night and just shot the shit with Glasses at his house for a few hours. I decided to be a good girl tonight and came straight home after work.

Still feeling a bit blue. Lonely to be exact.  I was spoiled for 4 days with The Kid,so readjusting to being single again has been hard. Not that I don't have plenty of boys to talk to. I have 3 new characters in the works as we speak. I call them 10 Points, Monkeyboy and The Highlander.  The Highlander is by far my favorite. Super shy, totally considerate and hot as all hell. A deadly combination...for him, not me. I hope I don't hurt him. He seems like a sweet guy.

But they're all a poor substitute for a true connection. I mean they amuse me to death, but as far as something deeper? None of them have a shot in hell. It's hard to find someone that you truly connect with. True chemistry is rare. Sometimes we think we find it but then it fades. Which means it wasn't real in the first place. I'm missing the kind of intimacy that never fades. The kind that grows stronger over time.

You know the kind I'm talking about.

I'm looking for that guy that gives me butterflies every time he enters the room. Even if he just stepped out for a moment. The kind of guy that makes me giddy. The kind of guy that I want to text a photo to every time I think I look hot. The kind of man that I can crave. Day in. Day out.

I have that with The Kid. I used to feel that way about Huge Asshole. And that's it. In over 30 years I've only found 2. Well, that's not necessarily true. I had the beginning feelings like that for Partyboy. True chemistry. We just didn't have time to develope any type of deeper connection. It was almost there. I felt it.

But for now I'll do without. I plan on going out to see The Kid in a few months. I'm gonna have to wait to satiate my cravings till then.

I know I always say that it's better to be the girl they want than the girl they've had. But maybe I should try allowing a man close enough to show me that I'm the girl that they want to keep.  I'll have to work on that.


But not now...I'm still a bitter bitch. I'd rather stick to masturbating.

WCC out.